Is there anything more entertaining than a binfire of a celebrity wedding gone wrong?
The £3 million union of Nicola Peltz and Brooklyn Beckham last year has descended now into acrimonious lawsuits. The Peltz family, whose billionaire patriarch Nelson is the chairman of Wendy’s burger chain, is now suing (and being sued by) two wedding planners they fired six weeks before the nuptials.
The two lawsuits have made public a wealth of WhatsApps, text messages and emails. These offer in fantastic detail to nosey types all the salacious digs and outrageous demands.
Nicola spent $100,000 being spent on her hair and make-up alone. Her mum Claudia declared that Nelson could never find out or he would “kill her and be so mad”. Incredible intel. Snippy messages demanding the white flowers weren’t white enough? Also highly amusing. A fulminating text from Nicola to her wedding planning dragging F1 star Lewis Hamilton into the chaos? Just read it: “Lewis Hamilton did NOT RSVP. So explain why his names [sic] on the list please. We spoke to him. He can’t come so explain why you said he rsvpd yes.” Manna from heaven.
There was also the drama with Victoria. The court filing states “Both Claudia and Nicola had insisted that Victoria Beckham could not know about any internal mistakes regarding the ongoing planning of her son’s wedding, including any errors with the guest list”.
As for her son, the groom, the morbidly hopeless Brooklyn stayed pretty quiet in the group chats. He did, though, at one point pipe up about having a “brooklyn burger. L ke [sic] double or single burger and a nicola burger witch [sic] is no bun and it’s lettuce instead of Bun and meat for the girls.” Eyecatching spelling and strange sentence structure aside, his wife Nicola quickly shut down his suggestion, replying instantly that the “names were embarrassing”. Honestly, you couldn’t write this.
This is what a nepo-baby wedding train crash looks like. I do get why we’re all over nepo babies, but sometimes you have to laugh at the ridiculousness that can only come from having so much privilege, general out-of-touchness and wealth built into you from a young age. If you can’t beat them, and you certainly cannot join them, the only option left is to laugh — and how we are laughing.
