When the royal family gets to the point where they practically welcome the presence of Prince Andrew to tide them over a shortage of Windsors, you know they’ve got a problem. And so it was at the memorial service last week at Windsor for King Constantine, former King of Greece. In the congregation there was one king, three queens, two crown prince/esses, 13 ordinary princesses, nine princes and too many dukes to count. But there was a dearth of royals on the home team: Prince Andrew, who led the group to the chapel with his ex-wife; Princess Anne with her husband and, of course, Camilla, whom
I can’t bring myself to describe as the Queen because that still conjures up the late Queen Elizabeth II.
And what of the rest? The King is still out of circulation after his cancer diagnosis; Kate, the Princess of Wales, hasn’t been sighted for some time; Prince Edward and his wife, Sophie, were away. The most striking absence of all was William, the Prince of Wales, who pulled out 46 minutes before the service started, which occasioned a blizzard of speculation.
So, not many senior British royals to spare, were there? It’s starting to look as though the policy of a slimmed-down royal family, on which Prince Philip was very keen, wasn’t such a great idea. There is an almost unlimited demand for royals to do their thing, viz, entertain other royals, open things and attend charity events, but there are not enough to go round. The great thing is that this means we get to see a whole lot more of Princess Anne, 72, who got lots of love after the late Queen’s funeral when she wore her Royal Navy uniform, including trousers to bestride her horse. She is famously the hardest-working royal and right now the old battleaxe practically has honorary babe status. In this febrile and dangerous world, lots of us would feel safer if Anne were, in fact, Queen. Failing that, just ratchet up the number of her engagements, preferably with the Army.
While they’re on skeleton crew, perhaps the odd village fete will have to make do with the penitent Prince Andrew
But there are only so many events the Princess Royal can take on. Failing her, how about the lesser fry? Some of them were at the service. There’s Prince Richard, Duke of Gloucester (not to be confused with Richard III), a harmless architect, and Prince Edward, Duke of Kent, who’s getting on a bit. A better bet would be Prince Michael of Kent, known for his startling resemblance to the last Tsar of Russia, murdered by Bolsheviks after his British royal relations regrettably refused him refuge (see the relevant episode of The Crown). If ever a royal is needed to visit Russia (not terribly likely just now) he would be brilliant; apparently the Russians were taken with him. The only thing is, his wife, Marie-Christine, is formidable; the late Queen observed that she was too grand for the Windsors. His daughter Lady Gabriella has recently been in the news herself after the death of her husband.
But how do they solve a problem like Prince Andrew? While they’re on skeleton crew, perhaps the odd village fete will have to make do with the penitent sinner. But never Fergie. Seriously. There are limits.
