Apparently it’s called Operation Bring Back Harry, the bid by the Prince’s friends to return the Prodigal Son back to the fold. Prince Harry himself has, it’s reported, been in touch with a number of old associates to sound them out about the possibility of a partial return to the Royal Family. One of them, Edward Lane Fox, his former private secretary, is well placed to put in a good word for the exile with the King.
Even a partial rehabilitation will be tricky. The funeral of Lord Fellowes, William and Harry’s uncle by marriage, the other day was enlivened, if that’s the word, by the spectacle of the two princes in separate pews in church, not talking. From what we have seen so far Prince William is not a forgiving soul and he has a lot not to forgive — his brother’s memoir, the Meghan and Harry interview with Oprah, the attempts from Montecito to exploit the royal connection: Sussex Royal jam etc.
So, in a spirit of public service, here are some tips for the Duke of Sussex to engineer a return:
a) Do not even try to include your lovely wife in the rapprochement. If an annulment of the marriage isn’t possible, simply work on the basis that for quite a lot of the time you and Meghan may have to live on separate continents and enjoy what the philosopher Elizabeth Anscombe called a telegamous marriage, characterised by frequent periods apart. Absence makes the heart grow fonder etc. You hope.
b) Your children are not problematic. Bringing over the presumably adorable Archie and Lili to meet their grandfather will soften everyone up and make for lovely press images.
c) Work ruthlessly on your father’s Christian faith. Part of the deal, as you know, is forgiveness. Well, play out the parable of the Prodigal Son for real. That reprobate simply threw himself on his father’s mercy; do the same, preferably in exactly the same words. The PS, you recall, had an elder brother who didn’t take kindly to the return of the black sheep; you’ve got one of those and in the parable the father tried to win him over. Having said which...
d) It seems clear that your brother can’t stand you and he’s let it be known that he wouldn’t invite you to his coronation. Eat mud. Be prepared to present prizes at church fetes in Northumbria and gladhand NHS hospital staff for years to come. Embrace veterans; you’re really good with veterans. There should be no event too small for you to attend. Only when the royals and the public have seen you cheerful and gracious at the kind of events your wife would not be seen dead attending, will rehabilitation be possible. Channel the late Queen; she was as affable at Women’s Institute meetings as with heads of state. Make clear that you’re happy to fill some of the gaps in the royal schedule by the illnesses of the Princess of Wales and the King.
e) This is really important. Suck up to your aunt, Princess Anne. She is the model of the hardworking royal. Get her onside. Everyone is scared of her. If she wants you back in the fold, that’s where you’ll be.
f) Cheer up. You have something to offer which the others don’t: the appealing spectacle of the black sheep returned. The Royal Family, as you have intimated in your book, live in perpetual terror of becoming marginalised and redundant and unloved. You, for all your faults, have a charisma that your boring uncle Edward does not. Make the most of it. But…
g) As per a) do not even attempt to include the Duchess in the deal. Forgiveness has its limits.
Melanie McDonagh is an Evening Standard writer
