Never in my wildest, worst dreams did I ever believe a man eating an entire tub of roasted garlic hummus with a baguette could be trumped as the nadir of my experiences on public transport. That man, unafraid to unleash his chickpea Chernobyl on a packed rush-hour Victoria line carriage, at least had the benefit of being a rogue agent. It’s true other thoughtless travelling souls with peppery pasties and booze-induced Big Macs are common and quite annoying, but something much worse is happening on London’s transport network: the public phone broadcast.
Every day commuters on our trains and buses are subjected to the aural equivalent of roasted garlic hummus: passengers listening to music, watching TV and amplifying their private conversations to all and sundry. This is not a few lone wolves. This is a cultural phenomenon and it’s phenomenally rude. Transport for London (TfL) have actually brought in byelaws which state that no passenger “shall, to the annoyance of any person, sing or use any instrument, article or equipment for the production or reproduction of sound”. How, exactly, were they planning to enforce that, without any wardens on the trains? I’m therefore not remotely surprised by the news that they have successfully brought just four (four!) prosecutions against passengers for loud phone conversations or playing tinny audio on their devices in the past five years. Three fines worth £705 in total have been issued.
