I may be guilty of recency bias, but with the prisons full, I feel confident in declaring: that was one of the more painful speeches I have endured. Punctuated by platitudes, groaning under the weight of Labour sloganeering bingo, all packaged up in Keir Starmer's now familiar staccato delivery.
The only vaguely memorable moment arrived when the prime minister called for the return of "sausages" from Gaza, rather than hostages. Which is obviously frippery, but when your televised address is practically absent of news lines, it leaves you vulnerable to gaffes filling that void.
The real problem with the speech is that it had no centre. It touched on plenty of issues – energy, crime, foreign policy, migration and public services. But it was not obvious what hung it all together, other than the fact that the prime minister was now responsible for it. All the bases were covered, but few runs were scored, other than a reiteration of the short-term pain to come.
In the interests of balance, with a Budget fast approaching and a Spending Review under way, it would have been difficult for the prime minister to reveal any major spending commitments. Moreover, parliament is at least theoretically supposed to be the venue for such announcements.
Yet even Theresa May, hardly a paragon of successful conference speeches, understood what was required. In her 2018 address to Conservative Party members, she announced (yet another) fuel duty freeze, even though the Budget was only a few weeks away. In contrast, it is not clear that Starmer has said anything in this speech that will move the news cycle on from internal Labour bickering.
Never mind. What is likely to determine Labour's term in office is not this conference, but the Budget on October 30. Which is why my main takeaway from Rachel Reeves’ speech yesterday was the implication that she was not minded to fill her beloved £22 billion blackhole through cuts to infrastructure projects. Instead, there is increasing chatter that tweaks to the fiscal rules could help her get some of the way.
In the meantime, look forward to headlines about sausages.
