There won’t be historians in the future, only conspiracy theorists, but if there were you might expect them to pinpoint the downfall of civilisation to last week, when Heinz announced it had put spaghetti carbonara in a can (spoiler: it’s a disaster).
Heinz says this is all Gen Z’s fault, because the lazy sods can’t be bothered to cook. According to an independent survey Heinz quote, a third of Gen Z require their food to be both fast and convenient — which is apparently untrue for millennials, Xers and boomers.
