Ed Sheeran was asked, during an interview this week with the American podcaster Theo Von, about what he considers to be the “most dangerous” places in London.
God knows why. The 33-year-old singer-songwriter was born in Halifax, raised in Framlingham, and now still resides in Suffolk — in a 16th-century Grade II-listed farmhouse on a sprawling estate so big that it is jokingly referred to as “Sheeran-ville”. But he gave his verdict anyway, telling Von: “Here? I'd say every area of London. Literally, every area is sketchy.”
Sheeran does own properties in London, like any good millionaire with more money than time or sense, but he’s almost entirely countryside based. He bought his main Suffolk home in 2012 and has stayed there ever since, gradually spreading out and buying up his neighbours’ homes when they complain about his ever-expanding estate.
I doubt he’s done much “real” London living ever, considering he had a platinum UK album before he was 21. Unless the “sketchy” areas he’s talking about are the foyers of The Dorchester and The Langham, chances are he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Yes, London has crime — it's a major city, made up of 9,748,033 people. Crime is going to happen. But probably not to Ed Sheeran, who I imagine navigates the city in a private car, eats at high end restaurants, and has his own personal security detail. Do I wish there were less phone snatchings? Sure! But I’m also pretty grateful that the only crime against the person that I directly witness in this gigantic city is one where the two individuals don’t even touch.
Plus, I’m always dubious of what people are really saying when they call bits of London “sketchy”. I used to live with two girls who once expressed their desire to move to a less “sketchy” area of the city (reader: we lived in Tooting) and I just know what they actually meant was more white, and more middle class. They wanted Hampstead. Holland Park. Hammersmith. Ironically, Ed Sheeran owns houses in two of those areas.
I come from the countryside. I understand this impulse to dismiss London as unsafe or overcrowded, but I can’t help but think anyone who believes this should be forbidden from owning property in a city that so desperately needs more affordable housing. Because displacement is a situation which, funnily enough, leads to crime.
In fact, I’m so glad you think London is sketchy, Ed. The last thing we need is another multi-millionaire super spreader trying to recreate the countryside in central London. Stay in your lane, and we’ll stay in ours. And if you actually want to help, why not turn one of your many London locales into a community centre, and stop running your mouth.
