Merriam-Webster named 'gaslighting' as its word of the year for 2022, a term used to describe the 'worst form of abuse'.
Searches for the term went up a whopping 1,740% in 2022 compared to 2021 on the dictionary website, but what does it actually mean? Merriam-Webster defines it as psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one's emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator.
The other definition on the site says: "the act or practice of grossly misleading someone especially for one's own advantage." The term originally comes from the title of the 1938 play and films based on it. The plot involves a man trying to convince his wife she is going insane, including insisting she is wrong about the gas light in their home dimming and that she is imagining it, even as it actually happens in front of her eyes.
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Claire Osmen, a domestic abuse survivor, said: "Gaslighting is the control of your mind. Abusers want to put you down so much that you believe in the end that you've got mental issues."
Speaking to the Manchester Evening News, Claire, who is a member of a women's support group, said she was 'shocked' at the rise in curiosity of the word but was not surprised. She added: "I shouldn't be surprised, but that is just shocking that it's being searched that much. Gaslighting is one of the worst forms of abuse as it is psychological and does so much damage.
"On a plus note it's good people are looking it up now, so that can't be a bad thing. People ask me all the time what's the worst physical or mental abuse? I always say mental.
"Bruises and cuts fade or disappear, but the mental stick with you. I left my mentally abusive partner ten years ago and I'm still living with the effects, the PTSD, the imposter syndrome."
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Gaslighting is a powerful tool used by abusers against their victims - and by politicians and other newsmakers. While it does occur in abusive romantic relationships, it can also happen within a broader family unit and among friends. It can be a corporate tactic, or a way to mislead the public. There is also “medical gaslighting”, when a health care professional dismisses a patient’s symptoms or illness as “all in your head”.
Examples of gaslighting in a relationships:
Downplaying issues or making fun of feelings - Abusers will often invalidate a victim's feelings by saying they are being overly sensitive or dramatic. The constant disregard of their partner's emotions creates an environment where they feel ashamed whenever the victim has a grievance preventing them to express how they really feel.
Downplaying achievements - Gaslighting partners are know to feel jealous or intimidated by their partner's success. Because of this they will often downplay their partners achievements, constant backhanded compliments are an example of this.
Denying abuse - A main character trait in most abusive partners, gaslighters are known for flat out denying that their behaviour is toxic. In some cases they end up convincing the victim that they haven't done anything wrong and it is all in their head. In cases of physical abuse, an abuser might flat-out deny what happened. They might insist, for example, that their partner tripped, fell, or hurt themselves in another way. At times, they may even be so convincing that the victim starts believing this version of the truth.
Mind games - Another example of gaslighting is partners who play tricks on their significant other. One way this is done is by insisting they told their partner to do something when they never did. They will use this tactic to become unreasonable and verbally abusive to their partner to second guess themselves and hamper their self-esteem.
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