An NHS nurse killed her toddler before taking her own life using stolen drugs from the hospital she was suspended from, an inquest has heard.
Shiwangi Bagoan, who worked as an anaesthetist's assistant was discovered dead by her baby girl's grandmother, who then tried to save both their lives.
Bagoan's daughter Zina, 2, were found at their home in December 2020, after the child's grandmother, Jassumati Lalu, became increasingly concerned about their welfare.
When Lalu called in she found a suicide note addressed to her before she went upstairs and discovered the pair and then dialled 999, report Mirror Online.
In the letter Shiwangi apologised for putting her mum through “a lot” and said she was taking Zia with her “because I don’t want to be selfish in leaving her to you”.
An investigation into the deaths found that on December 11, Shiwangi, from London, had visited University College London Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust, where she worked in the middle of the night.
The nurse then accessed the operating theatres, in the area where the drugs - later found to be the cause of the death - had been kept, according to My London.
They were kept in a combination locked fridge that Shiwangi knew how to access.
Detective sergeant Terry Goodman, who was the lead officer investigating the case, said: “Enquiries found that vials of drugs were stolen from West Moreland Street Hospital, from a locked cabinet Shiwangi had 24-hour access to.”
Police also spoke to a number of witnesses during their investigation, including her partner, Joseph, and Ziana’s father Jijesh. It then became clear that Shiwangi had previously attempted suicide.
Messages between Shiwangi and her partner were uncovered that revealed she had been “struggling to get through the day”.
One read: “You know I’m stressing out, at least just be here with me.”
Another said: “I’m really struggling to cope. I’ve been telling you that I’ve been having all these hopeless thoughts and you haven’t taken any note of that.”
On the afternoon of December 9, she sent her then-boyfriend Joseph a picture of a note that she had written to her daughter, which expressed that she felt she was a “bad mother”, the court heard.
Two days before her death, she sent another message begging Joseph: “Please come home today. I am barely hanging on.”
It was concluded that Ziana was “unlawfully killed” and that Shiwangi died by suicide.
The medical cause of death for both Shiwangi and Ziana was given as “respiratory failure due to drug intoxication”.
West London’s acting senior coroner Lydia Brown told the court: “It is heart-breaking for you to have lost not one, but two, family members, in such difficult circumstances.
“I am sure that these losses have been felt so very widely by all those that knew Shiwangi and Ziana.”
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