With the cost of living crisis biting and winter nights drawing in, there has never been a more vital time to get men opening up about their feelings, says the founder of a men’s walking initiative.
The Proper Blokes Club (TPBC) was created two years ago by Scott Johnson, 35, in a bid to get men discussing their problems, and break down the stigma surrounding mental health issues.
Each week, it sees groups of men of all ages and backgrounds gather across London, to simply go for a stroll and chat to each other.
The cost of living crisis and soaring energy bills have become a “massive conversation” topic on the walks, says Johnson, who fears many men are internalising the pressures of paying rising bills.
“There’s a lot of people that still live by that traditional, old-school way of living – the man is the one in charge of all the finances,” he said.
“All of a sudden he’s hit with another £300 a month to pay. Is he going to say ‘it’s all fine’ and bottle it all up like a lot of people do, and it’s going to end up causing longer problems?
“I’m definitely bracing myself for a lot of extra people joining for that exact reason.”
Johnson created the Proper Blokes community two years ago, after a decade-long custody battle left him struggling with his own mental wellbeing.
“I just sort of tucked it away, like a lot of lads do,” he explained. “But eventually it became a bit too overwhelming.”
Johnson says he is “one of the lucky ones”; rather than suffer in silence, he reached out and sought help from the NHS.
When his prescribed therapy sessions came to an end, he set up TPBC to help keep his mental state positive and “get other lads talking”.
In a 2016 study by the mental health charity Mind, half of men admitted to feeling uncomfortable talking about their emotions, while research commissioned by the charity Movember last year revealed that 60 per cent of men never share how they are feeling with anyone.
Suicide remains the biggest cause of death in men under the age of 50, with around three-quarters of suicides in the UK carried out by males.
Just one other man turned up to Johnson’s very first walk.
”But we were out for hours that night,” he said. “The following week, two new lads came along, and the following week two new lads, and it went from there.”
Johnson has now set up seven walks across London – in Greenwich, Wallington, Finchley, Upminster, Woolwich, Southwark and Sutton – each attended by between five and 20 men a week, with room for plenty more.
Johnson, who runs TPBC around his job as a football coach, stressed the groups are not designed for people struggling with acute mental health issues.
“We’re dealing with the lads who are stressed at work, anxious, have problems at home,” he said. “The everyday grind – that’s what we’re trying to deal with.
“We’re trying to make sure that if lads are having a problem they talk about it before it starts creeping up and escalating, and don’t just isolate themselves. We just lend an ear.”
Men aged 18 to 75 and from all backgrounds have so far attended the walks, with some joining occasionally and others every week without fail.
They take scenic routes by the Thames and through quiet streets and parks, where they chat “about anything, or nothing”. Each group also keeps in touch throughout the week via WhatsApp.
In testimonials on TPBC’s website, members describe the groups as “a safe space to chat about anything or nothing” and “a huge lifeline to many”.
One member, John, joined after losing his uncle to cancer, and while both his wife and mother were undergoing chemotherapy.
“Sadly, five days after I joined, I lost my missus,” he wrote. “The group have been a great support. Sometimes words are not enough to describe what the group means to me.”
Many of the men have found lasting friendships through the meet-ups. One man invited fellow walkers to his wedding, while others turned up to support a member at his amateur dramatics production.
Scott says it is “great” to see some men bringing their teenage sons to the walks. “If they’re seeing their dads open up and talk about things, as they get older they’ll think, ‘oh it is normal to chat about this’,” he said.
He now hopes to secure funding to set up weekly walks in every London borough, before branching out into other UK cities.
For more information, visit The Proper Blokes Club’s website or Facebook page.
