A Nottinghamshire dad has set up a football team which aims to "act as a support group" for men who have experienced baby loss. Raj Chagger, of West Bridgford, started Sands FC Nottingham in January, just over two years after the death of his son, Riaan.
His passing, aged seven months, drives the 36-year-old and his wife, Sharan, to raise money and awareness to help people come to terms with losing a young child. "He was the happiest baby ever, he was always smiling, nothing ever took a smile off his face and I think that's what motivates us," Mr Chagger told Nottinghamshire Live.
"With everything he had going on, the strength he had - we have to keep going for him now." Riaan died suddenly in November 2020.
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He was born at just over 4lbs and a very small pituitary gland in his brain, which secretes growth hormones, meant he wasn't putting on weight. Following regular visits to hospital, after six months he still could not sit up.
One night, his dad found Riaan in his cot with foam coming from his mouth. "He got rushed into hospital and they tried to resuscitate him but they weren't successful," he said.
Mr and Mrs Chagger are yet to get an explanation for their son's death due to the rarity of his condition. "We knew something was wrong but we never knew what it was and even to this day we've had any genetic test you could think of and we haven't got an answer as to why we lost him," said his dad.
"We have good days and bad days, sometimes it hits you a bit harder. In the area we live in we leave the house and see a baby somewhere or a pram so there's always reminders of what we had and lost. There's triggers everywhere.
"For a long time we didn't leave the house as we didn't have the energy to do anything. Everything we do now we do it in his name."
The couple have raised tens of thousands of pounds for charity after the death of their only child. Now, Mr Chagger is trying to bring dads and other male family members who have been through the same pain together.
"I noticed there wasn't much support for dads who had lost babies as opposed to mums," he said. His Sands United team, currently five players strong, will meet for the first time for a casual kickabout in West Bridgford on March 5.
Sands United is a national project set up by baby loss charity Sands, which allows people to set up their own localised teams with the aim of using sport to help cope with grief. "It's so other dads have somewhere to go if they need it. The football is secondary, it's a support group first," said Mr Chagger.
"The hope is that having that informality, where you're in a park kicking a ball about with other guys, over time you'll create the bond and that support network. I'd like to speak to other dads to find out how they are coping.
"Friends and family have been great in talking but unless you've been through it yourself it's hard to really understand the full complexities of dealing with it day to day. I just want something to exist that dads can turn to if and when they need to - they can dip in and out of it when they please."
To find out more about Sands United FC Nottingham, visit the Facebook page here or email sufcnottingham@gmail.com
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