To quote Good King Wenceslas it's deep (fried) and crisp and even(ly battered). While it's not a white Christmas it is a golden one at Nottingham chippy, the Cod's Scallops.
The six-strong chain, with branches at Wilford Retail Park, in West Bridgford, Carrington, Wollaton and Long Eaton in Derbyshire, is serving up a festive feast between now and Christmas Eve. Taking all the best bits of Christmas dinner (although some might argue against Brussels sprouts) the chefs put an unusual spin on the Yuletide favourites.
We have no idea of the calories - and actually we don't care because if you can't loosen your belt and have a pig-out at Christmas, when can you? Putting the main, sides and dessert to the test was going to take some doing but we went prepared for the challenge - hungry and with an elasticated waistband.
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Perhaps you're of the belief that the only greenery in a chippy should come from mushy peas but on the menu once again are battered Brussels sprouts. And the chip shop's twist has even managed to win over some haters of the controversial vegetable.
Soggy sprouts are out. Light crispy batter with a salty tang envelopes the sprouts, which have a firm texture and bite to them. I don't need be converted as I'm a sprout lover, not a hater. But the reaction from my dining companion, a battered sprout novice, was "oooh" in a good way.
Dipped into cranberry sauce they are a winner despite the sprouty pong. From previous experience they're best eaten in the restaurant. Either that or be prepared for your car to reek if having a takeaway.
Battered pigs in blankets are one of the most popular Christmas delicacies. Two big sausages wrapped in bacon are deep-fried in batter and would easily make a hefty main course accompanied by chips, let alone a side.
Another side is the pork, sage and onion stuffing fritters, two large spheres, served with a fruity brown sauce. Introduced last year they went down well and it's not surprising. Is there anything that doesn't taste even better when battered?
The main course isn't battered but it's most definitely festive. The homemade pie's light golden pastry is packed with chunks of turkey, with chestnuts and cranberries and bitesize pieces of carrot and leeks. Normally I prefer pie and mash but when in Rome (or a West Bridgford chippy in this case) it has to be chips and gravy.
Because we're not complete gluttons we taste rather than scoff everything put before us - and in any case we must save room for dessert.
This year, for the first time, deep-fried battered mince pies are on the menu. You might think this is a step too far due to the pastry. But it's far from heavy. Surprisingly light, the crisp batter takes the humble mince pie to another level. Served with vanilla soft serve ice cream and a drizzle of brandy sauce, it's naughty and nice.
Prices vary for eating in and takeaway, starting at £3.50 for the sides up to £13 for the pie with chips and gravy.
Operations manager Nick Clewley said: "We have all the old favourites on there but the big addition this year is the battered mince pies. We like to launch something new every year.
"We are slowly converting people to the sprouts. They still have the flavour of the sprout but it cooks nicely and holds its texture rather than going mushy. I think a bit of batter and deep-frying makes most things more appetising. Pigs in blankets are my favourite, they're amazing.
"Doing a mince pie seemed like the logical next step. We are gradually working our way through the Christmas menu. We were just playing around with ideas and we thought it was nice and tasty. It just worked."
Head chef Jack Foster said: "I was never a massive fan of sprouts. Then I tried one and it was like a mini braised cabbage transformed with a crisp batter. A game-changer."
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