A man who threatened to throw himself off Nottingham's Trent Bridge has spoken out about how he managed to turn his life around. Darren Cox, a Bestwood man born and bred, ended up on the bridge in Nottingham in 2022 thinking the world would be better if he was no longer in it.
The 39-year-old had lost his job as a chef when the pub he worked at in Scarborough shut during lockdown. He then ended up sleeping rough in Hull for two weeks after a relationship breakdown. It was on the day he returned to Nottingham when he made the decision to end his life.
"I remember the day vividly", he told Nottinghamshire Live. "I was on the phone with my brother, I did not have anywhere to go - and I told him I might as well just go ahead and jump. He said he was going to phone the police.
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"I had nobody. I was a single man by myself and I thought people were better off without me.”
"I was banging my head with a picture of my children on a piece of wood. I was banging that over my head, trying to get the voices out of my head.
"It made me bleed. I was on the bridge, and out of the sudden an officer from behind dragged me off the bridge."
He was sectioned at Highbury Hospital, before being transferred to a hospital in Hull. In May last year, Mr Cox was referred to the services of Derventio Housing Trust, which offers accommodation across five counties – including Derbyshire and Nottinghamshire - to people who have recently been homeless.
He said he had secured accommodation within a short amount of time in Cotmanhay, Ilkeston and has lived there ever since. He started attending the Growing Lives service, a day centre in Ilkeston which offers support to people through a range of activities.
It was there that, Darren said, he gradually began to heal. He said: “I had a brilliant mentor from Derventio. Growing Lives has been absolutely brilliant. We have been on trips – I went to Mount Cook Adventure Centre with the Growing Lives team. I’m scared of heights but I did this zip line – not only did I do it once, I did it three times.
“I really like the staff at Growing Lives and I love the woodworking room. It means everything to me. I could be sitting at home twiddling my thumbs. This is keeping me active. It has turned my life around.”
Now Darren regularly helps out his local food bank at the back of Arena Church. He has also become a regular church-goer, and is training to be a lay preacher.
He still has the pair of old trainers with a hole in the sole that he wore when he was sleeping rough in Hull. Mr Cox keeps the pair inside a wooden bread bin that he restored in the workshop at Growing Lives.
“When I put the trainers in this bread bin, it’s like putting my old life away in something I’ve restored,” he said. “On that bridge, I was at the bottom of a barrel.
"Derventio’s staff have shown such patience with me. I was still self-harming when I first moved into their accommodation and if it wasn’t for their patience and understanding I still would be.
“I do have my bad days because I always will have bad days. Nine times out of ten I’m fine though. The support that these guys give me is absolutely amazing.
“If you have got problems, you can talk to the people who work here at Growing Lives. Everybody is dead open. Everyone is so lovely. I love it here. I’ve started to get help with mental health too.”
He said he would never change what he has gone through, and that the experience of being homeless has taught him to help others. "Being homeless was awful and horrible. It was cold.
"People are looking at you like you are a waste of space. I would not change any of that for the world now.
"Because I know how hard it is for people living on the streets, and Derventio helps people who are homeless. Most people would think homeless people will score drugs.
"Getting off the bus near the Theatre Royal in Nottingham, I must have seen ten homeless people in the space of 100 yards. I get down and speak to them.
"I’ll give them a fag because I know how hard it is. I would never change what happened to me. It’s a real eye opener, living on the streets.
“And if I could see that police officer now, I would want to buy him a pint or something to say thank you. He effectively saved my life.
“I’m hoping one day to get my own place. That is my main goal at the moment but only when I’m right in my mind and with the support from Derventio I’m ready to move on.”
As for what he would say to anyone else in the same situation as he was last year, Darren had this to say: “Don’t waste your life. There’s always a silver lining at the end of the tunnel.
“There’s always a purpose. Now I believe that God put that policeman there to drag me off the bridge.
“He’s got a purpose for my life, whether it’s coming here to Growing Lives, or coming to church.
“There’s always a purpose in life. If I saw someone on the bridge, I would sit on the bridge with them, talk to them and calm them down.
“I would say: ‘There’s no point in jumping. You’re going to hurt more people than yourself’."
*The Samaritans run a free 24-hour phone line on 116 123 for people experiencing a range of problems, and also has a website with further details.
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