My co-worker thinks her single friend should lose weight. Is not caring about looks ‘giving up’?

‘Self-surveilling can train us to prioritize how we look over how we feel.’ Illustration: Lola Beltran/The Guardian

Hi Ugly,

I recently chatted with a middle-aged co-worker about her friend who is unhappy being single and thinks she should lose weight. As Gen X women growing up in the 1980s, our biggest concern was weight and calorie counting to control it (now we can add wrinkles, yellow teeth and odd body hair to the list).