Real Drinks Company Dry Dragon Non-Alcoholic Sparkling Tea (£9, 75cl, Waitrose) I’ve always said that the reason I like wine so much has nothing to do with alcohol and that, if there were a non-alcoholic drink that could match it for complexity, mouthfeel and food-matching ability, and which was, crucially, not sweet, I’d be more than happy to drink that, if not instead, then certainly as well. For years, I could make this claim safe in the knowledge that it would go largely unchallenged, since, rather conveniently, it was difficult-to-impossible to find alcohol-free drinks that came anywhere near to fulfilling those criteria. The best cold drinks on offer to the booze-averse not wanting to fill up on sugar were at the very flavoury end of sparkling water (like the salty-mineral, Alka-Seltzer-like Spanish brand, Vichy Catalan). But water, the odd Biblical miracle notwithstanding, can never be wine, and it’s taken the emergence, in the past five years or so, of serious alternatives such as the Real Drinks Company’s marvellously sophisticated range of sparkling teas, to finally, properly test my thesis.
Momo Limited Edition Hops Kombucha (£4.50, 33cl, Momo Kombucha; Orbit Beers) Tea seems to be the magic ingredient in most of my favourite parts of the burgeoning no-lo sector, and certainly of those drinks, like Real’s, that are made to appeal to abstinent wine-drinkers without mimicking, or simply taking the alcohol out of, their favourite tipple. Cold-brewed teas form the base, for example, of a no-lo drink of remarkable complexity and subtly grippy texture, Blurred Vines Spark Alt Vine (£16, 75cl, Wine Society), although that really is only a part of a recipe that also takes in gooseberry, apricot, white grape, manuka leaf and African verbena. Beware though: it’s designed, apparently, as a “party starter” and, as I found out after reading the small print too late, it’s packed full of caffeine that you might not want of a week-night dinner. Fermented tea is also the basis of kombucha, of course, a drink that can have vape-like sickly flavours added in many of the more commercial examples, but in Momo’s delicious limited-edition collaboration with Orbit Beers, has the refreshingly bitter tang of hops.
Jukes Sparkling Pinot Noir NV (from £9.95, 4 x 250cl, Wine Society; Waitrose) Kombucha has a certain Marmite quality that was most famously captured in a viral TikTok clip by the American comedian Brittany Broski in 2020. The clip went on to become a meme used to illustrate any experience where initial revulsion turns into something like curiosity and then “actually, there might be something in this”. The reason for both the strong initial feelings and, for some of us, eventually, the more-ishness of kombucha is the tang of acetic acid, which is also, of course, the wince-making element of vinegar. But even those drinkers who have grown used to the vinegary note in kombucha might be surprised anew by one of my favourite current no-lo drinks, Jukes Sparkling Pinot Noir. I’ve certainly had some pleasingly Broski-like reactions from my family when I’ve given them a whiff of a drink which is based on macerating English pinot noir grape skins in cider vinegar. It’s an acquired taste for sure, but one that, I’ve found, really does fill-in a wine-shaped gap with dinner on dry days.
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