Sorry clown stans, but I am a self-proclaimed clown hater. I’ve hated them from the moment I was I chased around Kids Space Cheltenham by someone’s drunk dad dressed a clown.
~record screeches~
Sorry what? Yes, back in 2004 someone’s dad (I still don’t know who, because he was in a costume obviously) decided it would be funny to dress up as a clown after a few cheeky pints and chase me and my friends around Kids Space (a kid’s indoor play centre). Fortunately, I was the only one mentally scarred from the experience as I hid under a table where my mum was sitting, bawling my eyes out because, and I quote, the clown kept saying: “I’m going to get you.”
Not ideal to say the least.
From that point on, my lifelong hatred for those terrifying creatures and their stupid tiny cars began. At every birthday party where a clown was hired for ‘entertainment’, I would tremble in fear — hiding in one of my friend’s rooms until it was gone.
In fact, my clownphobia was so bad that in 2009 — at a mere 11 year’s old — I lodged a complaint to Ad Standards because an ad for the Luna Park Melbourne ride Circus of Screams had a scary clown it. Long story short: they didn’t take the ad down.
