There are many ways to cope with a rail journey from hell. Some raid the onboard shop for mini bottles of wine; others forge new friendships amid the misery. The really unlucky ones end up urinating in empty Pringles pots, or climbing over 2-metre high fences (complete with spikes) when they arrive so late that the station has been closed.
But when the comedian James Nokise found himself on an 11-hour odyssey between London and Edinburgh on Monday night, he live-tweeted the misery.
Twitter may have gone out of fashion since Musk’s meddling, but it remains the perfect medium for a short story full of intrigue that takes in 11th-hour cancellations, hundreds of passengers competing for taxis, and a directionally challenged cab driver jacked up on Red Bull apparently driving from Preston to Edinburgh for the first time.
Nokise took the 4.40pm Avanti West Coast service from London Euston to Edinburgh, expecting to arrive at 22.21. All was well until the Pendolino was approaching Preston and Nokise received an email telling him his train – the one he was sitting in – had been cancelled. And so began his masterclass in social media storytelling.
I’m not quite sure how to explain what’s happened tonight, because it’s still happening - but here goes…
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 25, 2023
At 4:40pm I jumped on a train from London to Edinburgh..
It was comfy, it was quiet
In hindsight, too good to last…
About 10mins later the train manager came on the speaker to say they “heard from passengers” (!) that the train had been cancelled and was going to investigate because everything looked fine to them.
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 25, 2023
Shortly after that, they informed us that the “rumours were true” and the train had been cancelled and would be terminating at the next stop: Preston.
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 25, 2023
“Where is Preston?” you may ask.
Only god and Northerners know. Even the scot’s weren’t sure.
The human contents of the train were disgorged on to the platform at Preston and told to wait for a train to Glasgow, which would at least get Nokise to the right country, if not the right city.
Alas. “It turned out that train was full, so as we arrived, it left. It was around 8pm, and we were told to wait for the next train … at 9:42,” Nokise wrote.
He went in search of refreshments.
Preston Station has a few cafes, and they all were shut except for one coffee stall who saw a couple of hundred people on a platform and went “they won’t need food or hot drink”
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 25, 2023
So they closed at 9.
No one noticed because at 8:50 the train we were waiting for was cancelled.
More bad news awaited.
It turned out there were no more trains “North” after that and, excitingly, no forthcoming information.
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 25, 2023
Some people stood staring at the screens.
Some people queued to ask the one ticket booth worker the same question everyone else was.
No one knew anything.
Around 9:20 news came down:
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 25, 2023
Alternative transport had been arranged.
Bus? An extra train? Horses?
No.
Taxis. For hundreds of people. To a city 3 and 1/2 hours away.
He then invited his readers to estimate the cost to Avanti West Coast of this carnival of taxis. The railway company has not yet received the bill so we can only guess at the final cost. But with a journey from Preston to Glasgow or Edinburgh costing at least £277, according to online quotes, the bill for even 75 cabs would top £20,000.
Nokise ended up sharing a taxi with three other men, who tried and failed to persuade the driver to “drop us at our locations, since he was getting a flat rate and he was not in fact a train, bound by rail lines”.
The driver refused, but soon stopped to buy two cans of Red Bull “to be safe”. One of the passengers treated himself to a late-night ice-cream.
They were halfway there when each passenger received an email notifying them that they were entitled to a full refund.
No one else in the cab is keen for 1am lollies, and that sort of makes sense.
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 26, 2023
This email we have all received is the current talking point. pic.twitter.com/DiLLH97TkG
It was 3.20am when he finally arrived at Edinburgh Waverley.
A class of 50 schoolchildren plus teachers from Greenfaulds high school in Cumbernauld, near Glasgow, also found themselves stranded at Preston station on Monday because of the same fault with the track.
Their teachers used Twitter, or X as it is now known, to appeal for help, saying they couldn’t put groups of 12-year-olds on their own in taxis. “A staff member has said we are effectively stuck here,” they tweeted Avanti.
They ultimately managed to get back to Cumbernauld at 2.30am after sourcing their own coach and buying 60 portions of chips in Preston to keep the children going while they waited.
An Avanti West Coast spokesperson said: “We apologise to our customers who were caught up in last night’s disruption. The closure of the west coast mainline for over three hours due to a track defect had a significant impact on our services, with trains and train crew unable to work our planned timetable, resulting in cancellations of services north of Preston.
“Whilst alternative transport and overnight accommodation was sourced for most of those impacted, we fully understand the frustrations of those customers whose journeys were affected, and we are extremely sorry for this.
“Anyone who was affected by last night’s disruption will be entitled to compensation and are urged to get in contact through our normal channels to process their claim.”
