Nobody was prepared to put their name to Scab of the Day, and all that was left was the parody of an institution.
If you ever needed evidence that language matters, and we live in a time when intelligent people are being silenced so two-bob politicians won't be offended, Saturday night without Gary Lineker was the proof. Match of the Day was reduced to the equivalent of a 20-minute silent movie – except the silence was replaced by crowd noise.
No opening titles, the call to arms for around four million viewers every week. No presenter – Lineker had anchored MOTD since 1999 until pigeon-hearted BBC management caved in to confected Tory outrage about his Twitter remarks that boat people were being demonised and ordered him to “step back” from the role.
No pundits – led by the admirable Ian Wright and Alan Shearer, ex-players refused en bloc to trouser their appearance fees as acts of solidarity with Lineker.
No analysis – if you couldn't understand VAR decisions, or why goals were disallowed on the barest of margins, bad luck. You won't get a reduction in your licence fee.
No post-match interviews – no player or manager with an ounce of principle would have spoken to the BBC while their scapegoat was exiled to the naughty step.
No commentators – although, in certain cases, that was a blessing in disguise and welcome respite from constipated elocution.
No credits – nobody in production wanted their names to appear on a scroll of dishonour.
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Sadly, there was no escape from the tedious drums of certain 'ultras' who think we all like to watch football through the noise pollution of pneumatic drills. And it was nice of them to bother showing the Premier League table – with no explanation of the movers and shakers, who had moved out of the bottom three or into pole position for a top-four finish.
Earlier, Football Focus had been canned and replaced by Bargain Hunt – a programme specialising in passing off old at inflated prices, right up the Premier League's street – when presenter Alex Scott said it didn't “feel right.” Power to your elbow, sister. And from Final Score – fittingly replaced by The Repair Shop – to radio shows Fighting Talk and Six-0-Six, there was solidarity with Lineker.
Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp was bang on the money. He said: “It is a really difficult world to live in but, if I understand it properly, this is an opinion about human rights – and that should be possible to say.”
Of course, the usual banalities piped up with their tuppence-worth. Mr John Redwood, a former Tory Cabinet minister who often joins the braying right-wing choral society, observed on Twitter: “Great BBC Match of the Day. All action. Good replays so you could see what happened and understand penalty calls. Pity they did not show more of the football and run each match a bit longer. Too much chat in previous programmes.”
It is fair to say Lineker understands more about politicians, and the claptrap they spout, than the gormless Redwood will ever know about football. If it hasn't been clear from the last 13 years, let's clear up the mess after consulting VAR (Voters Against Redwood).
Gary Lineker was stood down from presenting Match of the Day because it suited a useless, feckless Government for the public's attention to be deflected from their economic incompetence, lies about Brexit and cruelty towards desperate boat people. And taxpayers were left with the pitiful carcass of a once-great show.
