Many people work a job they despise because, at the end of the day, it keeps the lights on. If you are lucky, you don’t entirely despise it and if you are very lucky, it actively brings you joy, but there is nothing wrong with doing something that leaves you financially secure.
A woman asked the internet for advice after her boyfriend gave her an ultimatum to pick between him and her job which he hated. As it turns out, despite being mostly unemployed, he has big dreams to live off-grid with zero responsibilities. We reached out to the woman who made the post via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.
Some people have strong opinions about “corporate” jobs
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages / Envato (not the actual photo)
But one man decided to make his girlfriend pick between him and her career
Image credits: LightFieldStudios / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Affectionate_Sir7593
Getting “off the grid” isn’t easy in any way, shape or form
Ultimatums are a touchy subject in most relationships, as some see them as a “kiss of death,” while others believe it’s a healthy way to enforce boundaries. Regardless of opinions, one partner issuing an ultimatum is rarely a sign that things are going well. After all, conflict resolution is a key part of any healthy relationship, so the need for “threats” tends to indicate that something is just wrong. There are times for hard conversations, but these are things that need to be approached with tact.
However, normally, if this word can be used for an ultimatum, the issue is a lot more breaking than one person not wanting their partner to have a job. There are cases where one might not like their partner’s occupation, for example if they work in a very unethical field or happen to have a job that involves something morally questionable.
This boyfriend, in contrast, seems to have issues with the very concept of having a job in the first place. This is not to defend office jobs, some are “soul-sucking” and burnout inducing, but the main issue is that he is making ultimatums over things that are just not his decision. Similarly, living off-grid is so cost intensive that, paradoxically, one needs a lot of money beforehand to even attempt it. It’s a huge ask and quite unreasonable as he simply does not have anything close to plan.
Ultimatums need to be approached with honesty
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
If he is this insistent on this idea, he really could have approached it better. Wanting an off-grid future with your partner is not in of itself a bad thing, assuming they want it as well. Expecting it to have “zero responsibilities” is more unrealistic, but a person can dream. However, it does seem like his partner isn’t exactly on board with this idea.
So instead of convincing her, which might be a tall order for someone used to the comforts of life “on-grid,” he berates her and seemingly blames her job for his tiredness. This is a pretty visible red flag, flying high and proud. He does appear to be a bit delusional, describing his idea as a “once-in-a-lifetime opportunity,” as if she can’t find another unemployed man out there pretty quickly.
It’s also important to note that, ultimately, how her job makes her feel and what she does about it is her decision. People stay in jobs they deeply dislike for good reasons and bad reasons, but it’s not someone else’s business to make them change, assuming nothing illegal is happening. If the fact that your partner has a fairly regular office job hurts you, it’s probably best to reevaluate your life. There is nothing wrong with being a free spirit, but making someone else be a “free spirit” goes against the spirit, no pun intended, of the very idea.
Ultimately, if you are going to make an ultimatum, which some relationships do need to continue, it’s important to do the opposite of what he did. His plans were vague, his only demand was to quit with no idea how to keep moving forward. From the woman’s perspective, it’s actually a lot easier to understand what to do. He made an ultimatum and she declined. The very fact that the relationship isn’t just over means he can’t commit to his own rules, so it’s questionable how he might commit to the very labor intensive concept of “off-grid living.”
Some folks did their best to give advice
Many thought she was right to refuse
One netizen sided with the BF
