You may have read elsewhere in this paper – what, you don’t turn straight to this back page as soon as you step out of the newsagents? - that the Oxford Word of the Year for 2024 is brain rot.
According to those good folk at Oxford University Press, brain rot is defined as, “the supposed deterioration of a person’s mental or intellectual state, especially viewed as the result of overconsumption of material considered to be trivial or unchallenging.’
To be honest, I don’t know why they’ve waited so long to thrust said word into the spotlight.
I mean, brain rot has been appearing in the regular correspondence I’ve been having with my readers about this column for the past 14 bloomin’ years.
In fact, one crumpled communication sent through the post – or was it nailed to my front door? - featured the simple scrawl, ‘Dear Mr Rodger. Brain rot. Yours in golf. W J Murchie, Pumpherston.’
It’s this kind of constructive, insightful, appreciative feedback that sustains my enthusiasm and keeps me going.
But it can be hard going. If it’s brain rot you want, then try following the protracted merger talks among the PGA Tour, the DP World Tour and the Saudi Public Investment Fund (PIF) which provides the LIV Golf war chest.
There was a report last week claiming the DP World Tour and LIV were now having discussions out with those involving the PGA Tour.
I don’t know about you, but all this tiresome stuff has left my cerebral matter decomposing to the point that if you stuck a microphone to my ear, all you’d hear would be a hollow whistling sound.
Presumably, the whole subject will rear its head again today when Tiger Woods plonks himself in front of the media in the Bahamas.
With his mighty position of influence on global golfing affairs, will he deliver any intriguing, illuminating tidbits on the progress of these talks? That’s probably wishful thinking, isn’t it?
Let’s face it, everything is so hush hush, you’d get more information out of a monastic silence.
A statement from the DP World Tour to the US golf magazine, Global Golf Post, at the weekend on the latest claims about the merger talks stated that, “we remain in discussions with the PGA Tour, PGA Tour Enterprises, SSG and PIF relating to the ongoing overall picture for men’s global golf, but no agreements have been reached.”
Another update with nothing to update, then. Brain rot, indeed. As well as the state of the men’s game, most folk – or at least some folk- will be keen to hear about the general state of Tiger himself as he performs his duties as host of this week’s Hero World Challenge.
He’s not playing, of course. Last week, he made an official announcement about that. It was hardly a surprise. In September, he "underwent micro depression surgery of the lumbar spine for nerve impingement in the lower back.” Ah, that old favourite.
Poor auld Tiger continues to get so much work done to his crumbling, creaking frame, you half expect him to appear at his press conference today shrouded in scaffolding.
Woods has not played competitively since July’s Open at Royal Troon, where he missed the cut with rounds of 79 and 77, departed sharply for his private jet after a brief summing up of affairs and was probably back in Florida in time for tea.
In four major outings during 2024 – the only four events he competed in outside the Genesis Invitational where he withdrew after 26-holes – Woods was a cumulative 44-over-par.
When he speaks today, the 48-year-old will no doubt deliver his usual bullish sermon about getting physically stronger, putting in more tournament reps, his determination to win again and any other cut-out-and-keep Tiger bingo phrase that he’s spouted over the last couple of years.
The one thing we can guarantee he won’t say is, “sod this folks, I’m retiring”, despite him being stuck in this crushing cycle of physical setbacks and competitive mediocrity.
Tiger can barely beat Old Man Par. He’s no chance against Auld Faither Time. Rightly or wrongly, Woods continues to postpone the inevitable.
As we’ve all said – and my goodness, the column inches dedicated to Tiger’s plight would make War and Peace look like the Mr Men books – Woods has more than earned the right to call it a day on his owns terms.
While many lament the sorry sight of a sporting giant hirpling and huffing around the course, many others feel the legend has, in some ways, been enhanced by this defiant, ersit struggle to overcome the odds. That struggle goes on.
Have a mull over this quote. "Most people would quit and give up in my situation right now. But I’m not most people and my mind works differently.
"I won’t quit. I will keep fighting and working to produce the performances I know I’m capable of.”
These weren’t Woods’ words. They could’ve been, though. They were, in fact, the unyielding declarations from Scottish great, Andy Murray, earlier in the year in response to a suggestion that his on-going toils on the tennis court were tarnishing his legacy.
Murray, of course, would finally accept that it was over a few months later and brought the curtain down on a shimmering career in August.
The golf world awaits a similar twist in the Tiger tale.
