A Derry woman has explained how attending a 'Death Cafe' has helped her take a different view on life. Andrea McCrory, who is originally from the city, has been attending the 'Dying To Talk Cafes' offered by Compassionate Communities Northern Ireland.
She told MyDerry that she had "never seen or heard of anything like this before" before she began attending the special cafes which offer people the chance to come together to share their thoughts, fears and questions about death and dying.
The free event, which is not aimed at those looking for support or bereavement sessions, is based on an open template used across the country. The concept was initially based in London, and since starting up several years ago, they offer pop-up discussions of death over tea and cake in over 32 different countries.
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In March, MyDerry sat down with project manager of Compassionate Communities North West, Sharon Williams, who said that they were trying to "normalise conversations around death and dying".
And according to Ms McCrory, it's something that people shouldn't knock before they try it. She said: "I had never seen or heard of anything like this before and thought it sounded interesting so I signed up to see what it was and since attending that café I think about life more now, and death, but not in a morbid or sad way, just in a way that it's part of life.
"I never really thought about death before I attended the cafés and started having conversations, but since then I think more about what I would want for my end of life, and I read more about the different end-of-life options.
"It’s not something I shy away from anymore. Being more aware of death has made me more appreciative of the life I have and it has made me feel more alive.
"I would definitely tell people to give it a try. It’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s just people on a screen having a conversation about the end of life – one of the most natural things in the world. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it and I’m sure others would to if they gave themselves the chance."
The next 'Dying to Talk Cafe' is scheduled to take place over Zoom on July 27, with those interested asked to contact Compassionate Communities.
Kathleen Bradley, Community Engagement Facilitator for Compassionate Communities - “A dying to talk café session is a conversation about death and dying - no bells, no whistles - just a conversation.
"It’s led by the people that attend and it’s a chance for people to explore and learn from others through conversation. It’s important that we get more comfortable with talking about death and dying.
"It’s going to happen to us all and it’s important that we can talk about and plan for what we want and don’t want at the end of our lives. Having conversations about mortality and death and dying helps us do that”.
“We rarely get the opportunity to talk openly and freely about death and dying. Often, we will hear things like ‘don’t be morbid’ or ‘why are you talking like that?’ but talking about death and dying is a very natural thing to do. End of life is a part of life”.
If you would like more information about these events, then you can contact Kathleen by email: kathleen@compassionatecommunitiesni.com
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