A Co Armagh teen has told of her heartbreak after losing her brother to cancer.
Chloe Truesdale, 14, who also has two younger sisters, says her and her older brother Cameron 'were never far apart'.
The Lurgan girl said when she was told he wasn't going to win his fight, her 'heart broke'.
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Cameron was diagnosed with a DIPG brain tumour in January 2017 and died when he was 13 in September 2018.
Chloe told Be : "Anywhere he went, I went. My friends were his friends and we all used to hang out together. Many of my memories are with him. For a brother and sister, we were very close most of the time.
"He would sneak me into his room at night to watch movies. I always remember him as being the brother that never gave up on any of his sisters. He never let anyone pick on me. Even in primary school, he stuck up for me."
The student added how hard it was to see the pain Cameron was in.
She said: "During treatment this didn’t really change for me but it was very hard for his sis to see the pain he was in. I would always try to take it easy on him in case I hurt him but one day he turned around and told me to stop and that he needed me to be normal.
"As soon as I heard he wasn’t going to win his fight, my heart broke.
"I didn’t know how to keep strong for my family. When he died, I was at our close friend’s house. The moment they told me, I broke down in tears. If it wasn’t for them being there I wouldn’t have been able to calm myself to get back home. Ever since that night it has felt less like home for me.
"I’ve had to learn how to live without him. I wish every day that he would be here to help me through stuff.
"I felt many things and I still do. Anytime I think of him, my heart drops and I feel too many emotions. It has had a big impact on me and my normal life.
"The sadness, anger and guilt made it harder for me to pay attention in classes and tests because I would think, 'What would Cameron say?'
"The thing that helped me the most was doing stuff. I love exercising and pushing my body to the limit - to get all the emotions out into that thing, so it goes into something. Days when I just couldn’t move or if I was having a really hard time, I would still go to the gym so it would go away... but it never would. I just got less and less angry and sad."
Young people supported by Cancer Fund for Children have now launched a set of bereavement support resources to help others who have been bereaved.
The young people, who are aged between 12-17 years old are part of Cancer Fund for Children’s #iwill bereaved advocacy group, which was launched last year with support from the Co-op Foundation, to empower them to become peer advocates and to campaign for change.
Using their first-hand experience of grief, consulting with other bereaved young people and completing research, the group decided to focus their efforts on improving bereavement support in schools.
Chloe said: "The group #iwill has helped in many different ways. I’ve learned it’s ok to feel the way I do and it’s ok that you feel like giving up sometimes, but to keep fighting. Also I've learned how important it is not to keep your feelings hidden and to talk about your feelings. Through everything that happens, parts of them [your loved one] will still be with you. The people in the group have made me a kinder person and more understanding.
"I want to support others because I don’t want anyone to feel alone. I want people to have a place where they are supported, safe and not alone. In school, you don’t know what to do if you’re upset. You will keep it in like I used to, and it was awful for me in every way.
"I want to make sure that doesn’t happen to anyone else."
The resource was created by young people bereaved through cancer and is designed to be used with any young person who has experienced a bereavement.
For more information and to download the bereavement support resources go to cancerfundforchildren.com/resources.
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