For the past several years, I’ve developed lists of everything football fans could be thankful for on this holiday named for, well, you know, giving thanks.
I think the best part is that it’s led me to develop some fun pen pals that I still hear from time and time again. Each year in this piece, I give out my email address (conor.orr@si.com) for anyone who ever wants to drop a note and just talk about football, send me some good coffee recommendations or talk about anything. My second favorite part is working the gratitude muscles again, getting me in a place where I’m in absolute awe that I get to do this for a living. We have a lot of fun on posts like these, but underneath it all there exists this deep appreciation from me to you for reading. There are so many different ways you can spend your time, and you choose to spend it here. That’s not lost on me.
For the foreseeable future, let’s all work on having better, in-person or substantive long-form conversations. Let’s all be a little more like Mike Tomlin and start to openly reject stupidity. Let’s all work on respecting and loving one another. Let’s all submit to the golden rule and let’s join one another in praying for the safety of anyone walking around at AT&T Stadium fearing that they will be crushed by a piece of falling scrap metal the size of a Mini Cooper.
Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate. Now here is one thing fans of all 32 teams can be thankful for.
Dallas Cowboys
Micah Parsons, edge rusher
Parsons is a man close to my heart. Like me, he wants the latitude to say whatever he wants on any social media or podcast platform and then gets wildly upset when something—deservedly or not—gets taken out of context. Last week he was asked about LeBron James taking a break from social media and was clearly unhappy with the suggestion. Parsons and I both know that the only way out is by producing endless more hours of content.
New York Giants
This press conference
Brian Daboll is a fiery dude who, I would guess, doesn’t enjoy spending a great deal of time discussing his thoughts and plans with assembled media. A few hours after he landed in Germany before a Week 10 game, he had to hop to the podium and immediately get grilled by a foreign correspondent on his lack of success in the red zone (2:02 in).
Philadelphia Eagles
Nick Sirianni’s kids
Very few people are crediting them for the seven-game winning streak that has turned this season around. Vic Fangio? Quarters defense? Saquon Barkley? Nah, man. It’s all about this crew which, if you have kids of your own around this age, you’ll understand, held it together remarkably well when Dad said “damn” and “hell” in the same few sentences and didn’t burst out laughing or demand a quarter in the swear jar (my son has interrupted a handful of calls when he hears the word “hate” or the phrase “what the,” which he currently believes are the two worst things a person can say in the world.
Washington Commanders
Bernie Sanders
I feel like this Washington Commanders’ team has been so fun (at least before the current three-game losing streak) and so out-of-nowhere exciting, that they don’t really have any enemies because Jayden Daniels is impossible to dislike. Well, only two senators vetoed the bill that would pave the way for the Commanders to get out of their hell hole of a stadium. One of them was the 83-year-old Brooklyn-born senator from Vermont. Also, how wild is the Senate? One day you’re voting on legislation that could alter the corporate tax rate or alter the balance of a global crisis, and then someone asks what you think of FedEx Field (awful, obviously). Anyway, the Commanders have haters now. Maybe Sanders was just rallying against price gouging.
Chicago Bears
Matt Eberflus
As a parent who is now routinely blamed for cosmic occurrences outside of my control, like Netflix not working or it being too windy outside, I have developed a kind of quiet affinity for the Chicago Bears’ head coach who has a near-historical stretch of losing games in which he has a wildly high percentage chance of winning. This was recently summarized on social media and I wonder how little of a conscience you have to have to not feel bad for the guy. Just look at this:
Matt Eberflus has lost all of these games:
— 𝓻𝔂𝓪𝓷 (@chitowncw) November 18, 2024
Packers 2024: 71.3%
Commanders 2024: 96.4%
Browns 2023: 91.3%
Lions 2023: 98.2%
Broncos 2023: 98.1%
Lions 2022: 95.2%
The odds of all 6 being losses is…
0.00000001476 ≈ (1.47561E-6%)
How????????? pic.twitter.com/9zAFOgKXdC
Detroit Lions
Stevie Wonder, Jack White, or anyone who doesn’t perform “Detroit Rock City”
As we get deeper into a Lions Super Bowl run, broadcast sound people are getting to the point where they’ve reached a limit on playing “Detroit Rock City” by Kiss—a band that is not from Detroit, by the way. Much like I am consistently troubled by broadcasts showing the Statue of Liberty and playing New York–themed songs for New York Jets and New York Giants games taking place in New Jersey, I fear we aren’t even close to tapping the potential for a Detroit-themed musical celebration over the back half of the season. Luckily, there are plenty of good artists to choose from.
Green Bay Packers
Josh Jacobs
When Matt LaFleur was trying to put his finger on the logic behind going from Aaron Jones to Jacobs, he mentioned a certain stylistic shift. My two cents were that Jacobs allowed Green Bay to master a few different rushing schemes instead of just one. The Packers have won games this year based on setting Jacobs loose on the duo concept where he’s left one-on-one with a smaller linebacker or member of the secondary and just absolutely punishes them. It’s not hard to see this being a significant development in the winter months ahead.
Minnesota Vikings
Mike Sherels
The former linebackers coach of the Minnesota Golden Gophers met Vikings defensive coordinator Brian Flores during a playdate between their two daughters. Sherels had recommended Flores take a look at free agent linebacker Blake Cashman, who turned out to be one of three massive pieces of the puzzle this offseason for Flores to build a self-sufficient and mystifying defense full of heady players hell bent on short circuiting an offense. Combined with Andrew Van Ginkel, Ivan Pace Jr., Jonathan Greenard, Harrison Smith and others, this Vikings defense is assembled to impart chaos. Their coordinator, too, was willing to take suggestions from all places.
Atlanta Falcons
Michael Penix Jr.
As we try to sort out what, exactly, is happening with the Atlanta Falcons and whether they’re actually good, it must rock to have a talented rookie first-round pick on the bench just hanging out. Around the start of 2024, I started ordering two entrees whenever my wife and I decided to get dinner from a restaurant, or at least multiple hearty sides in addition to the dinner, in order to buttress myself against disappointment. This is the bright side of the Falcons’ current plight: They’ve ordered two dinners. There’s still another entree to go. And, randomly, I had a burger with Penix once and his order was elite (medium well, add bacon, NO vegetables).
Carolina Panthers
Dave Canales and Brad Idzilk
Oftentimes, a truly terrible job turns into a good one thanks to people who do not let the utter impossibility of the moment overtake them. Idzik is one of the youngest offensive coordinators ever and a longtime lieutenant of Canales, who came from nowhere at the end of last season to earn the Carolina Panthers’ head coaching job. While this has been a tough sled, it has not been a complete disaster. The Panthers are developing young talent, such as undrafted free agent Jalen Coker, have a stable offensive line and could be a sneaky eight-win team in 2025. Bryce Young’s performance against the Kansas City Chiefs showcased a rapid growth for a quarterback who couldn’t stand in the pocket a few weeks ago to one who could handle a 40% blitz rate from one of the best defenses in the NFL.
New Orleans Saints
RizzBall
While getting an awesome interim head coach and winning games that ultimately stand between the franchise and its quarterback of the future is certainly cause for concern, having Darren Rizzi as your awesome interim head coach is almost worth the sacrifice.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Italian hands
For those who didn’t put their reputation on the line by openly stanning for Baker Mayfield during his run as the star of the Progressive home insurance commercials, I understand that the former No. 1 pick can be a bit much. But, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers needed to kick off the laugher portion of their schedule with a blowout of the Giants and they delivered. Not only did they absolutely pummel a bad team, but Mayfield threw up the Italian hands as a kind of declaration of the team’s fearlessness heading into the final stretch. Co-opting the Tommy DeVito celebration can only yield positive results heading forward.
Arizona Cardinals
Kyler Murray
But not for the reasons you might think. I, a transplanted New Jersey resident, have long been subject to relentless droning about the area's supposed pizza supremacy. Having grown up in the suburbs of Scranton, Pa., eating American cheese microwaved on top of stale bread with SpaghettiOs sauce in between, I can attest that most pizza which is not that is good pizza. The best piece of pizza I ever had was in Minneapolis (at Pizzeria Lola). Murray, during his bye week, traveled to New York and backhanded Joe’s pizza by suggesting it might need some ranch dressing and that the sauce was too saucy. Good for you, KM. Be your own man. Almost all pizza tastes better with ranch, and you can get a good pie anywhere these days.
Los Angeles Rams
Kombucha
I asked an inside source in Los Angeles what made the Los Angeles Rams such an awesome place to work, which, I surmise, produces a strong track record of success on the field. At the end of a very long list, I was informed that the team serves kombucha, the fermented black tea drink, on tap. That sounds incredible. As someone who has worked from home largely since 2010, I am frequently blown away by office perks (the other day I attended a meeting at a law firm that had cold brew available via tap, and I asked my wife if it would be inappropriate for me to bring a mason jar with me to fill it with … she said yes). At Sports Illustrated’s old office we had pretzels and dark chocolate M&M’s available in little pull tabs. But Kombucha checks a lot more boxes in terms of gut health and positive energy.
UPDATE: TWO FLAVORS! THE RAMS HAVE TWO FLAVORS ON TAP!!
San Francisco 49ers
Taybor Pepper
So, when was anyone going to tell me that the San Francisco 49ers’ long snapper, who took a choke hold from Deebo Samuel in stride, is also totally awesome? His X/Twitter account features posts on the emerging market for Chinese Pokemon cards, other brawls that he’s been in (!!!) and this. Taybor … come join us on BlueSky, brother, you seem like a great hang.
Seattle Seahawks
Humility
When I was working up the 2023 version of my annual future head coaches list (and here, by the way, is this season’s version), there was high praise for Mike Macdonald, then the Baltimore Ravens’ defensive coordinator. But one question persisted: Did he have the kind of verbal finesse to work his way around the idea that he was not one of those alpha-dog former NFL players who can headbutt a two-by-four to fire people up. The answer, I was told, was in his honesty and humility. Here’s an incredible answer by Macdonald when he was asked about Halloween and said he dressed up as Bill Belichick:
— ᴅᴏxx ⚡️ (@new_era72) October 30, 2024
Buffalo Bills
Henry the egg
The Buffalo Bills gave their players eggs to take care of during training camp and one survived for months upon months. They gave it a proper burial the week before Thanksgiving after the massive victory over Kansas City in a move that will certainly have no black magic repercussions heading into the most critical stretch of the season. I have so many more questions about Henry than there appear to be answers (primarily, how did he smell upon his death?).
Miami Dolphins
Mike McDaniel punking Maxx Crosby
The early Mike McDaniel hype was quickly replaced by the (theoretical) Brooklynites of the NFL, who then decided that McDaniel wasn’t cool and hilarious, and somehow his rambling answers, spur-of-the-moment sprinting and other strange behavior all of a sudden became a spoiled bit. Well, he literally got one of the best defensive players in the NFL to jump offside. And then, despite being about a quarter of Crosby’s size, proceeded to talk smack about it. Keep this man in the league as long as we possibly can.
New England Patriots
The NFL Hall of Fame committee
I think it’s absolutely ridiculous that Robert Kraft isn’t in the NFL Hall of Fame after having won six Super Bowls. But the continued insistence of the contributor committee not to elect him, a fact that has produced ESPN longreads and, you know, actual attention, has to keep a fire under the New England Patriots’ 83-year-old owner. Jerry Jones got into the Hall of Fame and stopped spending money on his franchise. Now, his stadium is a scrap metal death trap and his players are blinded by the sun and he doesn’t care! Kraft is going to have to fight this out forever, and wouldn’t you if your accomplishments were overshadowed by *checks notes* former AUTOMOBILE DEALERSHIP OWNER and COACH OF THE CANTON BULLDOGS RALPH HAY. RALPH HAY!
New York Jets
The New York Giants
The troubled, spiraling sibling loves it when the more successful one messes up to make their own failures feel less like some kind of defining narrative weight around the family’s neck. So this year at Thanksgiving, the Kratom dealer sibling who lost his Nissan Rogue in a bad crypto deal gets to laugh at his hedge fund brother who didn’t quite get the totality of his bonus due to a risky long play on a Swiss energy conglomerate.
Baltimore Ravens
One vigilant fan
It’s this fan, who uncovered that the Baltimore Ravens have not won a game when posting a picture on the team’s Instagram account that has the caption “Working on the weekend like usual” on it. This is a stunning deep dive that takes into account multiple tentacles. One, that the Ravens’ social team would recycle a reference from 2020. And two, that they would fail to rectify the mistake after the first massive error.
Cincinnati Bengals
This video at the four-second mark
After Joe Burrow and Ja’Marr Chase connected on the thumb touchdown, Chase was complimenting his quarterback on the sidelines, calling him a “motherf----- with that thumb.” Burrow made a face that can only be understood by people in an office who are uncomfortably razzed by a semiaggressive boss, unable or unwilling to match the energy. This is the true subtle beauty of Joe Shiesty.
Cleveland Browns
Jameis Winston
There are quarterbacks who are good at a lot of things. But, just as Cam Newton was to the Patriots after Tom Brady’s departure, Winston has been to the Cleveland Browns as the Deshaun Watson debacle begins to play out a depressing end. Winston’s seemingly purposeful ridiculousness as an evangelical Andy Kaufman has been a kind of public relations meat shield for a team that should be getting skewered right now. Winston’s pre and postgame interviews have attained a cult-like following, diverting attention from Winston’s roller-coaster play.
Pittsburgh Steelers
Special teams coordinator Danny Smith
This season, the Pittsburgh Steelers blocked kicks in three consecutive games, which was the third-longest blocked kick streak in NFL history. And each time that happened, we were fortunate enough to get sideline clips of Smith, the team’s 71-year-old special teams coordinator, who is constantly chewing on a wad of bubble gum the size of an adult hedgehog. Smith also went ballistic on officials for calling his unit for a leverage violation on another blocked kick this year and is one to work out shirtless in the team’s facility.
Houston Texans
That one great year of high school
We’re starting to learn that an NFL team drafting both the Offensive and Defensive Rookies of the year isn’t akin to tapping an endless font of success (see also: the Jets). And that’s O.K. We should know that by now as football fans. This season may still end in a division title for the Houston Texans, but that’s mostly by virtue of the Indianapolis Colts going through a purposeful struggle to develop their quarterback of the future. C.J. Stroud has tripled his number of multi-interception games, multiple injuries have stacked atop one another and the Texans became the first team to lose a game to the Titans after a comical Will Levis pick-six. That doesn’t make 2023 any less awesome. Especially that part where Houston waxed the Browns in the playoffs with a bunch of players they drafted as a result of the Watson trade.
Indianapolis Colts
Laiatu Latu
Have you ever watched a player who isn’t accumulating a ton of glamour statistics and thought: I don’t know exactly when, but this guy is going to be awesome? I feel that way about Latu, who is on the verge of a serious breakout with the Colts. Four sacks into his rookie season, we’re probably looking for more in the run defense department but Latu seems to be getting better and had what I consider his two best games over the past two weeks against the Lions and Jets.
Jacksonville Jaguars
Curb appeal
Unless they truly stun us this offseason, the Jacksonville Jaguars will open their head coaching position and head into the carousel as the most attractive job on the market. This team, in my estimation, is a handful of interior players away from being really, really good. The Jaguars need a dominant defensive tackle and another adequate one to unlock a lot of their skilled defensive players. This is something a new coach and GM can accomplish in one offseason and, I would imagine, some of the more aggressive prospective head coaches already know this. Who doesn’t want to live by the beach?
Tennessee Titans
T’Vondre Sweat
The big second-round rookie out of Texas has been an immediate contributor for the Titans, and not only looks good next to Jeffery Simmons but seems to be setting the table for him. Sweat has heavy hands, he’s hard to move and he can get up to speed quickly after releasing himself from the grapple at the line. There are going to be so many challenging components of rebuilding the identity-less Titans, but nailing second round picks to shore up a good defense is a nice start.
Denver Broncos
Flex scheduling
This is not something the Denver Broncos are thankful for, but boy am I, for so, so many reasons. The Broncos (and Los Angeles Chargers) are the first NFL teams to be flexed into a Thursday Night Football game, which is a massive, royal screw job for a team that suddenly has to operate on a short week against a big-time divisional opponent. I love it because not only have the Browns been forcibly removed from a stand-alone Week 16 game, but Sean Payton, the most cantankerous, anti-NFL conspiracy theorist coaching on an NFL sideline, has inadvertently coached so well that he loses multiple nights of rest before a game. Bravo, world.
Las Vegas Raiders
Bay Area fans who will not admit that Kyle Shanahan is good
I’m not sure how this escaped my purview for so long. But God bless this caller into 95.7 The Game who is a Las Vegas Raiders fan and phoned into the station to say the 49ers may still make the playoffs, but that he absolutely would not take Shanahan as the head coach of his football team. Having lived in the New York/New Jersey area for the past 15 years, I know when a caller is trolling. This man, however, genuinely believes that one of the best head coach hires of the last quarter century is a “loser.” It’s very funny.
Los Angeles Chargers
Jim Harbaugh
I mean, come on. Stop trying to make this guy soft.
Kansas City Chiefs
Mecole Hardman and Kareem Hunt
The NFL keeps a statistic called Net Yards Above Average, which tracks offensive performances when a player is on the field and when a player is off the field. While this stat has some serious and obvious flaws, Hardman is nearly a +200 between the run and the pass, while Hunt is comfortably above that margin as well. We could sit back and say that any player who gets plugged into that situation would have the same stats but it’s not true, as the Kansas City Chiefs tried to survive at running back without Hunt and couldn’t. There is something vital about a serviceable role player.
This article was originally published on www.si.com as NFL Thanksgiving 2024: What Every Team Should Be Thankful For.
