By this time next week, we will be on Day 4 of turkey and stuffing sandwiches, and the green bean casserole will be starting to make your fridge smell like onions.
With the final week before Thanksgiving behind us, let’s look at the power rankings ahead of Week 12.
32. Carolina Panthers
Last Week: 30
Next season, Frank Reich is going to be sitting at the end of a bar sipping an old fashioned smoking a Marlboro Red while staring at a picture of the 2017 Eagles.
31. New England Patriots
Last Week: 31
Mac Jones and Bailey Zappe is like picking between a Nissan Altima and a Hyundai Elanta- it’s basically the same car at the end of the day.
30. New York Giants
Last Week: 32
Tommy DeVito has the most touchdown passes by a Giants quarterback through his first two starts in team history. So there’s that, I guess.
29. Tennessee Titans
Last Week: 28
What can we say about the Titans? No, really, what can you say? This team is as bland as flavorless Greek yogurt.
28. Chicago Bears
Last Week: 26
That was the most Justin Fields Chicago Bears loss ever- build a big lead, and watch it go away in the blink of an eye.
27. Green Bay Packers
Last Week: 27
Jordan Love made some pretty cool throws against the Chargers. Is he the future? I don’t know. Right now, he’s Hint water when Green Bay needs him to be Propel- give them all the flavor all the time.
26. Washington Commanders
Last Week: 24
What an enigma the Commanders are. One week, they are giving the Seahawks the fight of their lives, the next they let Tommy DeVito carve them up.
25. Atlanta Falcons
Last Week: 25
When we go around the table saying what we are thankful for, I’m going to say how thankful I was in Week 11 to not have to watch Arthur Smith’s offense.
24. Arizona Cardinals
Last Week: 29
This is a much different team with Kyler Murray under center. They won’t make the playoffs, but I’m very excited for the 2024 Arizona Cardinals.
23. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Last Week: 21
Speaking of 2024, that’s what Mike Evans is looking forward to, as well so he can go to a team that gives him a chance at another ring.
22. New York Jets
Last Week: 19
“Starting quarterback Tim Boyle” is certainly a phrase the Jets didn’t want to hear this season. Maybe Aaron Rodgers has something to give him that will make him play better like Bugs Bunny when he gave the Looney Tunes “Michael’s Secret Stuff” in Space Jam.
21. New Orleans Saints
Last Week: 22
In addition to being grateful for not having to watch the Falcons, I am equally as thankful I didn’t have to watch the Saints. The NFC South really is the division of the dreary and the damned.
20. Denver Broncos
Last Week: 23
Russ is cooking, but not like the five-star chef he used to be. This season, he is cooking a fully-preped meal from Hello Fresh. Regardless, the Broncos have won four stright.
19. Los Angeles Rams
Last Week: 19
Rams fans are thankful for Puka Nacua and the fact that Matthew Stafford is back in the lineup, or they’d be 3-7.
18. Pittsburgh Steelers
Last Week: 16
Every stat that comes out about Kenny Pickett is more embarrassing than the last. My favorite, though, is he has less touchdown passes over the last two seasons than Matt Ryan, who currently works at CBS and hasn’t started a game since last December.
17. Los Angeles Chargers
Last Week: 15
Justin Herbert is the Mike Trout of the NFL. Both are otherworldly talents being wasted in an incompetent franchise, neither of which should have Los Angeles as their host city’s name.
16. Las Vegas Raiders
Last Week: 18
Yes, the Raiders lost, but I’ll say this- a month ago, they lose to the Dolphins by three scores and look dreadful. They held the dynamic Miami offense to 20 points, and were in the fight up until the last play. There’s something to be said for that.
15. Indianapolis Colts
Last Week: 17
Some may think Indy is ranked a little high, but the Colts are scoring the ninth-most points in the NFL with Gardner Minshew at quarterback. Shane Steichen has done a great job, and they are still one of many AFC teams jousting one another for playoff positioning.
14. Minnesota Vikings
Last Week: 13
Josh Dobbs is a very fun story. Even with a loss, the Vikings haven’t looked lost, and can still sneak into the No. 7 spot in the NFC playoffs.
13. Seattle Seahawks
Last Week: 12
The Seahawks have been very up and down this last month. They have the 49ers twice in the next three weeks, including Thanksgiving night.
12. Cleveland Browns
Last Week: 14
What a way for the Browns to win two consecutive games against divisional opponents in polar opposite ways. At 7-3, it would take a colossal meltdown for the Browns to miss out on the postseason.
11. Cincinnati Bengals
Last Week: 4
This is likely as high as the Bengals will be for the remainder of the season. Get better soon, Joe Burrow.
10. Buffalo Bills
Last Week: 11
Josh Allen yelled that he felt like he was back on the sideline against the Jets, and he sure looked like he was back, too. Also, great job by Joe Brady remembering the middle of the field existed, unlike Ken Dorsey.
9. Houston Texans
Last Week: 10
The Texans and C.J. Stroud showed they can overcome turnovers and still win games. This is a legit team, and Stroud is a legit MVP candidate.
8. Miami Dolphins
Last Week: 8
Now at 7-3, the Dolphins still hold a one game lead over the Bills in the AFC East, and they do so with a much easier road to the division crown.
7. Jacksonville Jaguars
Last Week: 9
The Titans got a taste of “Steezy Trev,” as the Jaguars offense looked as good as it has all season. That was the kind of offensive performance they needed after last week.
6. Dallas Cowboys
Last Week: 7
We expected the Cowboys to beat the ever-living hell out of the Panthers, and that’s what they did. Also, DaRon Bland has two fewer touchdowns than Kenny Pickett this season.
5. San Francisco 49ers
Last Week: 6
Brock Purdy made a few big boy throws and earned himself a perfect passer rating, the first 49ers quarterback to do so since Joe Montana.
4. Detroit Lions
Last Week: 3
The Detroit Lions are 8-2 for the first time since the Lincoln administration (don’t dig too far into that, I’m pretty certain that’s correct). They do come down a spot after an ugly performance against an inferior Bears team. However, they are still as dangerous as any team in the NFC.
3. Baltimore Ravens
Last Week: 5
With the injuries in the AFC North at the quarterback position (and the Steelers’ quarterback situation being what it is), it looks like Baltimore’s division to lose.
2. Kansas City Chiefs
Last Week: 2
The Chiefs let one slip away against the Eagles. However, it was a loss to the best team in the league in a tight game- they aren’t moving down in the rankings.
1. Philadelphia Eagles
Last Week: 1
That was a statement win from the Eagles. Down 10 on the road against the AFC’s best, and they came back to win- they remain on top.
