Louise Taylor’s match report has landed, which is my cue to go and sidle up to the nearest radiator. Thanks for your company, correspondence and diverse views on Ten Hag, or as one reader called him, Van Gaal.
Human nature being what it is, I didn’t get any mail about Eddie Howe, who continues to do a phenomenal job at Newcastle. I’ll be back on Wednesday to see if Man United can bounce back against Chelsea. Do join my colleagues tomorrow for the 2pm GMT games, followed by Man City v Spurs at 4.30, plus West Indies v England in Antigua from 1.30 till about 9.30. For now, it’s goodnight from me and over to Louise.
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Ten Hag wasn’t asked about one incident, though I can’t talk as I missed it myself. Just before half-time he appeared to have a frank exchange of views with Anthony Martial, who is not usually outspoken. There was clearly something Martial and Marcus Rashford were not happy about.
It may have been the fact that Bruno Fernandes was playing deeper than usual, next to Kobbie Mainoo, with Scott McTominay acting as more of a No 10. McTominay is a handy second striker but not much of a passer. This meant that there was little or no service for Martial and only a bit more for Rashford, who did at least stage a couple of promising counters in the first half.
That said, neither Martial nor Rashford was doing much tracking back. The players nearest to them – Fabian Schär for Martial, Tino Lovramento for Rashford – were both able to enjoy a walk in the Park.
Here’s Erik ten Hag, keeping his cards close to his roll-neck. “We had a tough first half. I said at half-time ‘OK we are pleased we are 0-0, to stay in the game’. But we didn’t, and then we had a good comeback in the last part of the game, but that is the fight we have to show… The rewards are for Newcastle United and we move on to Wednesday.” (When they are at home to Chelsea.)
“I will talk with my team,” he says. “We had some good chances, with Reguilon, and we thought we’d scored a goal – offside. But, overall, Newcastle deserved to win.”
Asked about Marcus Rashford’s form, Ten Hag says: “I talk with him about that, not with the media.” He may have learnt his lesson after bad-mouthing Jadon Sancho in public and starting a rift that has now lasted three months.
“We stick together,” he adds, “we keep to the plan. This team is resilient.”
Very accommodating.
most shots faced in the PL this season:
— Duncan Alexander (@oilysailor) December 2, 2023
Sheff Utd 266
Luton 241
Man Utd 214
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Eddie Howe is talking now, in his usual calm way. “I couldn’t be happier with the players tonight.” he says. He makes subtle points about both of his excellent full-backs, noting that Livramento was delaying his arrival on the left wing to let Gordon move inside, and that Trippier was holding the ball well, “waiting for the right pass”.
A few sportspeople don’t just captain their team, they embody it, and Trippier is one of them. Even though he’s not the official club captain.
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The commentators are comparing Anthony Gordon’s performance with Marcus Rashford’s. They reckon Gordon should be dislodging Rashford from the England squad. But Rashford was playing out of position tonight, and he has done consistently well for England, as Gareth Southgate has said. Yes, Gordon deserves a place in the squad, but it’s Jack Grealish who should be looking over his shoulder.
An interesting take from Arun Kumar. “Ten Hag is a talented young manager at the biggest and the most poorly run club in the world,” he reckons. “He over-performed last season. This season will be harder and the injuries haven’t helped. The players they have aren’t top tier.” Really?
“He is also competing in the most competitive league in the world and against two of the modern greats in the game who have been at their club for more than five years.” Pep and Klopp, I presume. “He needs a few years at the club before he can change things.
“United can finish in the bottom half for all I care. This is a club that has eras of success with nothing in between. That’s why supporting this club is so amazing. Thankfully there were no MBMs and online punditry when Sir Alex and Sir Matt managed United.” Ouch. I have a feeling that Fergie, for one, could have coped.
Harsh but not unfair?
Pitiful display by #MUFC. The worst of the season. Players barely committing to pressing + then descending into frantic hope balls as Newcastle dropped deeper. The team whose full XI played 90mins on Tuesday looked far fresher.
— Laurie Whitwell (@lauriewhitwell) December 2, 2023
Another email about the Schär stamp. “I’m a United fan,” says David Flynn, “and I wouldn’t agree that was a red card. Bruno [Fernandes] is so annoying that I think the threshold for fouling him should be higher than for other players.” Oof.
Newcastle go fifth, inching above Spurs on goal difference. Spurs play at Man City tomorrow, so that goal difference nay not be about to improve.
Man United slip to seventh. This is their record against teams from the top half this season: played five, lost five. They’ve scored two goals and conceded 12. And yet, going into this game, they were top of the PL form table. They are a mystery managed by an enigma.
The Newcastle players are doing a lap of honour, and why not. Hey Jude rings out again. One of the presenters points out that this time two years ago, Newcastle were bottom of the Premier League.
In the past year, Man United have only scored against Newcastle at Wembley. Where’s Wout Weghorst when they need him?
“Get IN,” says Michael Moore. “Insipid performance, inadequate recruitment, inept management. Will the Radcliffe investment inspire introspection and invigorate a return to the incisive style of play that’s instinctive to United’s DNA?” Ha.
FULL TIME! Newcastle 1-0 Man United (Gordon)
And that’s it. Newcastle hold on to win and they fully deserve it. They played with intent and skill for all 100 minutes; Man United matched them for about 15.
90+8 min Maguire, now settled up front, can’t get on the end of a long throw from Dalot. Amrabat has a shot but skies it.
“Schär,” says Isaac Gow. “Playing well but should he still be on the field? Two clear yellows for fouls on Fernandes. Neither given.”
Eddie Howe makes a substitution!
For the first time in about 200 minutes. Gordon off, Matt Ritchie on.
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90+6 min Dubravka does well to claim the cross, getting a bang in the ribs for his trouble.
The player of the match is Anthony Gordon. He’s been great, but Trippier was robbed.
90+4 min Man United have turned up. They get a corner, easily defended, then a free kick on the left.
90+3 min Garnacho gets to the byline, but his cross is a patsy and Newcastle race away on the counter. Isak gets to the brink of the box, where Amrabat manhandles him and gets away with it.
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90+2 min Gordon sets off on another adventure and is brought down by Antony, who gets a yellow card.
Nine minutes added!
90 min That seems fair … the Pope injury took up about three mins, Fernandes’s not much less, and there have been a few subs. Bring it on! There could easily be one more goal in this, probably for Newcastle, but not necessarily.
DISALLOWED GOAL! By Antony for Man U
OMG! Antony finds the net … but Maguire is clearly offside in the centre-forward position and the ball brushes his chest as it fizzes past him. Still, a sign of life.
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87 min From the corner, Reguilon has a fierce shot, his second in no time. Man U are actually playing like they mean it.
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87 min Man U have been better for the last five minutes, which isn’t saying a great deal. Hojlund slips Garnacho into the area and Trippier times his lunge beautifully. He’s been the best player on the pitch.
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86 min On comes Martin Dubravka, who now only plays against Man United – the team he spent last season with.
85 min Pope is going off, very gingerly. He gets a warm hand that recognises how well he played in Paris on Tuesday.
Time for an email, from Matthew Lysaght. “Thinking that Anthony Martial would be in anyway effective 2 games in a row,” he says, “should be a sackable offence on its own.”
Man U take a shot!
84 min In fact two, in the general melée after the corner. Both were blocked, and Nick Pope seems to be hurt. The ref stops the game.
82 min Garnacho, who hasn’t done anything for about an hour, wins a corner on the Man U left.
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80 min Trippier takes his seventh corner and Dalot clears. Mainoo and Wan-Bissaka go off; Amrabat and Reguilon come on. It’s hard to see it making much difference. If the score stays like this, or gets worse, Erik ten Hag’s record in big away league games will go from abysmal to worse: played 11, drawn one, lost ten.
78 min Wan-Bissaka somehow blocks a certain goal at point-blank range, but he may have handled the ball…. No, it was his knee and then his chest.
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77 min Livramento, who still has the freedom of the left wing, chips a cross in that curls out of play. Then Maguire scythes down Gordon and gets a yellow card. Man U are all over the place.
75 min Gordon sends a through ball towards Isak, skimming like a pebble on the beach, but Onana does well to race out and start a counter.
72 min Fernandes, now recovered, sends Antony away on the counter with Hojlund in support. One squares to the other … but Newcastle have five men back out of nowhere. Hojlund is bundled off the ball in a way that the ref finds legitimate.
70 min In three games between these sides since Man U lifted the League Cup, Newcastle have won 2-0, 3-0, and are now winning 1-0 (which should be 6-0).
“Fernandes,” says Martin Lancon. “I seem to remember a much less forceful accidental stamp on a foot being a red card for Rashford.” Ha.
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68 min In the lull, the goal is shown again. It was Trippier who crossed, not Almiron as I thought. He received a neat through ball from Guimaraes and Man U were simply sliced open.
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67 min Bruno Fernandes, who has just been regaled with “There’s only one Bruno”, is down with a nasty injury. A replay shows that Schär trod on him, probably by accident. The VAR looks as it but doesn’t think it’s a red card.
66 min A minute passes without a Newcastle shot.
“As a United follower for a long time,” says John Smith, “all I can say is there needs to be a huge shake-up with the organisation as it stands now. This coach Van Gaal is an embarrassment and a fool of a man.” Nice Freudian slip.
64 min The commentators are lambasting the Man U players, but they used to know how to steal a big away win under Ole-Gunnar Solskjaer. It’s Ten Hag who seems to be unable to manage it.
62 min Man U have a free kick in a promising area on the left. Shaw takes it, better than his first one, but Maguire can’t keep the header down.
61 min Rashford sits down with a scowl and a moan in the ear of the next man, who I think is Sergio Reguilon.
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60 min Cometh the hour, cometh the subs. Hojlund and Antony are about to replace Martial and Rashford. This means that Onana will no longer be the only Ten Hag signing on the pitch.
59 min Gordon’s goal came about partly because Aaron Wan-Bissaka switched off. He switches on now to tackle Gordon, but Newcastle are coming in waves and a second goal feels imminent.
58 min The 18th attempt comes from Schär – a screamer, over the top. Come on Erik, do something.
57 min The Toon Army are in full voice now. That was Newcastle’s 17th attempt, and their fourth on target.
56 min It’s been coming. And in the end it’s so simple – one winger to the other, a crisp cross and a comfy finish at the far post. Gordon has been threatening to do that since the second minute.
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GOAL! Newcastle 1-0 Man United (Gordon 55)
Finally, a chance they can’t miss!
53 min Ten Hag has Hojlund warming up again, and Antony too. Newcastle dance into the Man U area once more. Joelinton shoots, and once again the shot is a weak one, but …
51 min Man U have a smidgen of possession, but Newcastle soon win it back. “They just want it more,” says Darren Fletcher.
50 min Fernandes threatens to launch a counter and Schär chops him down. No yellow card, oddly.
49 min Trippier’s corner is heading for the net when Onana punches it away. Newcastle come again, Lascelles smells a chance but Shaw gets another vital foot in.
47 min Shaw’s turn to spare Man U’s blushes as Isak lines up a tap-in. One corner is instantly followed by another.
46 min Fernandes kicks off, and then Newcastle just resume hogging the ball. No change yet for either side.
Erik ten Hag needs to do something, fast. Only Maguire, Mainoo, Fernandes and Shaw have been any good (plus Rashford when attacking, not when tracking back). And the ploy of putting Shaw inside hasn’t worked as Newcastle’s full-backs have ruled the flanks. Rasmus Hojlund has been warming up, but he doesn’t seem to be coming on just yet.
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Memo to the Man U scouts. “I watched Stuttgart beat Werder Bremen earlier today,” says Kári Tulinius. “Last season was a mess, with three coaches unable to get a tune out the players until the fourth, Sebastian Hoeness, finally did, building the team towards forward Serhou Guirassy, whose brilliant form has him linked to Manchester United. Rashford used to provide United with a focal point, but currently there’s no focus, and attacks build towards nothing in particular.”
That’s certainly true tonight. This United XI have never started together before, whereas Newcastle’s team, depleted as they are, have started three times in the past week. And it shows.
HALF-TIME! Newcastle 0-0 Man United
It’s goalless, but it’s been a long way from a stalemate. Newcastle have been by far the better team yet somehow have nothing to show for it. They have had 14 shots to Man United’s two, but only two of those 14 have been on target – and that’s the story of the half. Time to go and get warm.
Only one added minute!
45 min Newcastle are so keen to crowd Onana that there are 15 players in the six-yard box. The one who gets his head to the ball is Maguire, who has been commanding again.
Just one minute of stoppage time. Old-school!
44 min Livramento skips down the left, it’s four on four, but Maguire gets a toe in to squeeze the ball away for a corner.
41 min There’s a scrap for the ball on the Newcastle right wing, and Trippier and Almiron just fight for it more doggedly than Dalot. You won’t be surprised to hear that nothing comes of it
40 min Onana flirts with danger again as Gordon bears down on him. He hoofs it away, 1972-style, in the nick of time.
Trippier hits the bar!
38 min The free kick is a cracker. Onana is a mere spectator … but saved by the bar.
“We all know,” says Richard Hirst, “this is going to finish 1-0 to Man Utd, after a goal in stoppage time. I speak from bitter experience as a Fulham supporter.” They only do that against teams in the bottom half.
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36 min Fabian Schär, feeling rather underemployed, goes for a run through the middle and wins a free kick near the D.
34 min Man U finally string more than three passes together, but the cross that results, from Wan-Bissaka on the right, is a damp squib. Newcastle charge up the other end, where Almiron shoots, left-footed and too high.
On passing accuracy, Newcastle are winning 86-75 per cent. In fact they’re winning on every measure except the one that counts.
32 min Mainoo, classy as ever in his embryonic career, sends Rashford down the right. He races on to the ball and lob in a good cross for Garnacho, who is too well policed to get a header in.
Some flickers of life from Man U, but a minute later Isak has yet another good chance, which he steers just wide.
30 min Luke Shaw takes the free kick and chips it straight into the arms of Nick Pope, like a dad trying to make things easy for a seven-year-old in the park.
29 min Onana gets a paw to the corner and Man U break, with Rashford doing well to feed Garnacho – but Livramento easily outruns him. Then Man U win a free kick 25 yards out on the left.
28 min The game calms down a bit as Newcastle play a few dozen passes, then win another corner.
25 min Darren Fletcher notes that if Newcastle win, as they will on this evidence, it will be the first time since 1972 that they’ve recorded back-to-back league wins over Man United. As if trying to evoke that era, both goalies go long with their goal kicks.
24 min Man U are relying on Newcastle being less than clinical, and so far, somehow, it’s working. A three-on-three comes to nothing as the final ball is too soft.
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21 min Maguire buys Man U some time by tying his bootlace at a child’s pace. Onana gets booed for time-wasting. Man U’s flanks are not working at all: Newcastle have been waltzing down them. They’ve had eight shots already, to Man U’s two.
Chance for Isak!
20 min Isak must score! But Maguire gets a heel in and the shot squirms past the post. Yet again, Trippier was pulling the strings.
After the corner, Lascelles has a half-chance with a header but can’t keep it down. It’s all happening.
18 min Yet another chance for Newcastle. A strong run from Livramento down the left, a well-timed lunge from Maguire, an attempted screamer from Guimaraes – over the bar.
17 min Chance! For Almiron after another surgical pass from Trippier down the right to Guimaraes. Onana makes a fine save. He’s not short of character.
16 min Onana is being mocked by the crowd every time the ball reaches him, which is every 20 seconds at the moment as Newcastle are back on top.
14 min TNT are showing the Dalot incident again. It was set up by a powerful run from Anthony Gordon in the inside-left channel. Both sides are attacking far more down their left than the right.
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12 min Man U, warmed up now, surge down the left again. Dalot’s cross, meaty as usual, thuds into Trippier’s midriff.
Chance! For Garnacho
10 min Bruno Fernandes makes his mark on the game with a glorious through ball down the left following a neat touch by Kobbie Mainoo. Alejandro Garnacho runs on to it and his shot is on target, but too comfortable for Nick Pope.
9 min A panic in the Man U box and Diogo Dalot may have handled the ball… But the VAR doesn’t give it as Dalot hit the ball with his foot onto his arm.
8 min Kieran Trippier, such a great signing for Newcastle, plays a gorgeous ball down the line for Almiron. Nothing comes of that, but a minute later Isak has the first shot of the game, easily blocked.
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7 min Onana makes his first mistake of the night, coming for the corner and not even getting close. But it’s not costly as Man U scramble the ball clear.
6 min Newcastle are on top, as expected. Livramento gets a cross in, then another, and the second wins a corner.
3 min Alexander Isak is dropping deep, perhaps looking to lure Luke Shaw out of position. Lots of nice passes from Newcastle, no shots yet.
2 min Man U’s first touch, I think, is a header by Harry Maguire. When the ball goes back to André Onana, the Toon give him a hearty boo.
1 min Newcastle kick off and start by keeping the ball neatly.
Erik ten Hag is in his flat cap. He and Eddie Howe exchange a warm handshake, Ten Hag’s barbs about time-wasting now forgiven.
An email! “G’Day Tim,” says Chris Paraskevas, “Is Eric Ten Hag doing a warped / really ironic Don Revie Tribute Act by taking the bus and forcing his players to walk the last leg to the stadium?” Ha.
“At least they didn’t take the train, which I remember being packed with (increasingly) drunk, loud and entertaining tourists heading up to Tyneside for a weekend of Geordie culture.
“Tricky assignment for us after the late sucker punch in Paris. A fast start is paramount and then it’s just a matter of hanging on, given the paucity of options on the bench...”
As Hey Jude rings out around St James’ Park, the players wait in the tunnel. The camera lingers on the men in red. Marcus Rashford puts his hands on Alejandro Garnacho’s shoulders and murmurs something in his ear. Anthony Martial puts on an extra layer of thermals. Erik ten Hag may be the only manager in the world who would fancy Martial on a chilly night in the north-east.
Can you remember what you were doing in May 2006? Lewis Miley can’t, because he was busy being born. Kobbie Mainoo can’t either, because he had only just turned one. Miley is now 17, Mainoo 18. They’re both starting in midfield tonight, neither of them looking remotely like a novice, and both were featured in this morning’s paper.
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A couple of interesting predictions, both from Opta. On this game, the algorithm says it’s too close to call: Newcastle 36pc chance of a win, Man U 34pc, the draw 28pc. But when it gazes out at the season as a whole, it decides that Newcastle are easily the better side with a 29.6pc chance of making the top four to Man U’s 8pc.
The rather less reliable computer in my head would put it the other way round, if anything. Man U, last season and this, have been more efficient than Newcastle at racking up league wins (because they can see off the lesser teams). But on an ice-cold night at St James’s, Newcastle are surely hot favourites.
United do have the stronger bench, with Amrabat, Hojlund and Antony likely to come on and Varane and Lindelof in reserve. But Erik ten Hag tends not to make his changes till the hour mark. The question is, will Newcastle have it in the bag by then?
It’s a mystery why Man U sold this guy.
James Garner’s game by numbers vs. Forest:
— Statman Dave (@StatmanDave) December 2, 2023
80% pass accuracy
63 touches
36/45 passes completed
13 ball recoveries
11 final third passes completed
5/8 ground duels won
4 clearances
3 long balls completed
3 interceptions
2/2 dribbles completed
Player of the match. 💫 pic.twitter.com/idzLolSzjM
Everton have held on to win 1-0 at the City Ground. They go up a ladder for the first time since slithering down the snake of financial fair play. They now have seven points and are back above the mighty Burnley on goal difference. Had it not been for that ten-point penalty, Everton would be 11th, just above Chelsea.
If you’re looking for a little less conversation, a little more action, do join Luke McLaughlin for the last 15 minutes of Forest v Everton.
Teams in full
Newcastle (4-3-3) Pope; Trippier, Lascelles, Schar, Livramento; Miley, Guimaraes, Joelinton; Almiron, Isak, Gordon.
Subs: Dubravka, Karius, Dummett, Ritchie, Krafth, Hall, Diallo, Alex Murphy, Parkinson.
Man United (4-2-3-1) Onana; Wan-Bissaka, Maguire, Shaw, Dalot; McTominay, Mainoo; Rashford, Fernandes, Garnacho; Martial.
Subs: Bayindir, Varane, Lindelof, Reguilon, Amrabat, van de Beek, Antony, Pellistri, Hojlund.
Referee Robert Jones.
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Teams in brief: Erik shuffles the pack
Eddie Howe sticks with the same XI that almost beat PSG. He doesn’t have much choice at the moment.
Erik ten Hag rings the changes, leaving out Victor Lindelof, Sofyan Amrabat, Antony and Rasmus Hojlund, and bringing in Diogo Dalot, Kobbie Mainoo, Marcus Rashford and Anthony Martial. Lindelof’s place at left centre-back goes to Luke Shaw, so Man U will have a left-footer there and a right-footer (Dalot) to his left.
Preamble
Evening everyone and welcome to the match of the day. It’s United v United. It’s the north-east v the north-west. It’s the third-best team of last season against the fourth. It’s this season’s sixth against this season’s seventh. And the similarities do not end there.
Both Newcastle and Man United had bruising assignments on the continent in midweek. Both emerged with a draw, reaching the same destination by quite different routes. In Paris Eddie Howe parked the bus and almost pinched a win. In Istanbul Erik ten Hag threw caution to the rain and twice lost his grip on a two-goal lead.
Both clubs have a busy treatment room. Man U are missing seven senior players, Newcastle nine. In fact, the injuries deserve a team sheet of their own.
Newcastle (3-2-3-1) Botman, Burn, Targett; Longstaff, Anderson; Willock, Murphy, Barnes; Wilson.
Man United (3-2-2-0) Martinez, Evans, Malacia; Casemiro, Eriksen; Amad, Mount.
Although they’re the more depleted of the two sides, Newcastle are hot favourites tonight. They have the Toon Army behind them. They’ve won their last five home games in the league, conceding only one goal and beating Arsenal, something no other club has managed. And they have the edge in the most vital department of all: playing as a team.
They have a centre-forward scoring goals for fun in the elegant Alexander Isak, whereas United’s Rasmus Hojlund is prolific only in the Champions League. Newcastle have outplayed Man United in both meetings since the big one at Wembley, winning 2-0 at St James’ Park in the spring and 3-0 at Old Trafford in last month’s League Cup rematch. They’ve also had one more day to recover from their midweek exertions.
Man U too are on a run – four away wins on the trot in the league – but all against clubs in the bottom half of the table. Erik ten Hag’s record in big away games is abominable. He lost at seven of United’s eight top-ranked opponents last season (while drawing at Spurs) and has added two more defeats since, to make a miserable tally of one point out of a possible 30. The 3-3 at Galatasaray, amateurish as it may have been, was actually one of his best results on the road, surpassed only by a 2-2 at Camp Nou.
Man U’s day started badly (for them) when their flight to Newcastle was cancelled because of the weather. Serves them right for not caring about their carbon footprint. They went by bus instead, as if they were mere rock stars.
They’ve shown some spirit this week on the first two of their three trips to fortresses masquerading as parks. So maybe they can surprise us by doing what only Darwin Nunez has done in the league this season at St James’ – pulling off an improbable heist.
Kick-off is at 8pm GMT, and I’ll be back soon with the teams.
