Spurs were lucky it didn’t get to double figures.
Breathless, intense and ruthless, Eddie Howe’s Newcastle blew them apart.
Part Geordie brilliance, part Spurs shambles.
If there was any doubt over which of these side’s is steamrolling their way to the Champions League, this was an emphatic answer. Newcastle are leaping into the elite.
Jaws dropped around St James’ Park as Newcastle racked up a barely believable five goals in the first 21 minutes. It was fantasy land on Tyneside, in a season that has delivered plenty of smiles.
Joelinton was a rampaging bully, scoring and making one. Jacob Murphy netted a double, including one from 30 yards. Alexander Isak also at the double, his strike rate now ten from 15 league games.
Howe’s men on rampage, smashing, demoralising, humiliating, a top four rival.
For Spurs, another inquest, and yet more instability. Antonio Conte had it right about this Spurs squad. They were gutless in the first half.
Pick your villain. Hugo Lloris was invisible in goal, Eric Dier, Cristian Romero weak, skipper Harry Kane failing to lead. Or Cristian Stellini for tactical set up, and lack of motivational skill.
The rout started after 61 seconds, and 20 minutes later Newcastle had racked up five goals.
Jacob Murphy smashed into the roof of the next from a tight angle after Hugo Lloris palmed Joelinton’s shot away. The Brazilian drove into the box unchallenged by four Spurs players.
On six minutes Joelinton scored himself. Fabian Schar pinged a trademark diagonal ball from the back, which Big Joe stunned under his control before rounding Lloris and scoring.
With nine minutes on the clock it was three. Again Schar got the assist, pinching the ball in the deep and finding Murphy.
The right winger skipped forward and unleashed a swerving 30 yard shot which Lloris watched hit the back of the net.
Alexander Isak then scored two goals in three minutes. Newcastle’s fourth, in the 19th minute, came from Dan Burn winning the ball next to his own box and Bruno Guimaraes mopping up with a ball wide to Joe Willock.
The ex-Arsenal midfielder then conjured the pass on the season. With the outside of his right foot, Willock bent a 40 yards pass around the Spurs back line into the past of Isak.
The Sweden international ran in on goal, outpacing Erik Dier, and tucked home.
It was five when Isak, in the 21st minute, collected a back heel from Sean Longstaff, and squeezed past Lloris, who really shouldn’t have been beaten from that angle. Four in his last five games for Isak and ten for the season.
It was the quickest five goal haul in the Premier League, since Manchester City trounced Watford in September 2019.
At 3pm, as the second half kicked off the Government’s “severe alert” sounded on mobile phones around St James’ Park, but it came an hour too late for Spurs.
The desperate Lloris was hooked at half time, Newcastle lad Fraser Forster on to shore it up. Pape Sarr lasted only 23 minutes before being withdrawn for Davison Sanchez.
After the second goal, Spurs fans began to walk out high up in the away end. A 600 mile round trip to see a surrender like that first half who could blame them. The remainers shouted: “We want Levy out..”
Inevitably the Geordies dipped after the break. Harry Kane salvaged a goal with a solo drive at two goal assist Swiss star Schar, beating him for pace and tucking away 25th in the league.
But after a freshen up, sub Callum Wilson scored a sixth just 65 seconds after coming on for his 12th of the campaign.
