WE do not have a song.
Newcastle does not have a contemporary song that widely resonates in the Novocastrian imagination.
Sure, there are plenty of songs about Newcastle. But the ones that became popular are now obsolete, yobbo anthems or piss-takes.
Some combine all three of those characteristics. For decades, Bob Hudson's sometimes amusing, mostly cringey The Newcastle Song was the lens through which people tended to view you when you said you were from these parts. Strop with a car.
The lack of a widely loved Newcastle soundtrack again became apparent during that stinking hot Australia Day just gone, when the relentless heat fanned by a nor'wester steered conversation toward popular music about Australian places.
Songs that stand the test of time. Such songs can stir an emotional response when half a chorus is heard leaking from a stationary car's radio or blasting from headphones on the train to Sydney.
Given it was Australia Day, a responsible drinking game was invented where winning or losing was dependent upon knowledge of Australian popular music and place.
The year 1982 was a cracker for songs about Australia that have stood the test of time. Power and the Passion (Midnight Oil), Great Southern Land (Icehouse), and Solid Rock (Goanna) were just a few of that year's enduring offerings that financed Australian commercial FM radio's glory days.
Those songs endured for more than four decades because they offer thoughtful and reflective lyrics about Australia accompanied by banger tunes.
There are songs that broadly bellow 'Australia' and there are songs about specific Australian places.
When I think of Brisbane, I still think of Brisbane (Security City) by The Saints and Pig City by The Parameters. Both provide a snapshot of the climate of Bjelke-Petersen's Brisbane in the 70s and 80s that provided much of the inspiration for youthful rebellion.
But I also think of The Go-Betweens and Streets of Your Town, which had another life in Newcastle as a background for a 1990's advert for Prime TV's presence in the city.
The song remains at least partly responsible for many people, especially those over 30 who were born-and-bred here, still referring to Newcastle as a town - as if we are Tamworth with a beach and fewer blow flies.
Streets of Your Town is hardly a celebration. It is a strange choice for an advert celebrating place, with its alarming line about the prevalence of domestic violence.
"And don't the sun look good today?
But the rain is on its way
Watch the butcher shine his knives
And this town is full of battered wives."
Ouch. Although Streets of Your Town was perhaps not as influential as Go Hard Go Knights by the late, great Doug Parkinson when it comes to referring to Newcastle as a town.
"This game is our game
This town is our town
Turn the heat up
And listen to the crowd."
This town is our town? Pfft. Everyone knows developers own this city.
The Knights also gave Long Live the Newcastle Knights by Morgan Evans a run, but it lacks a pumped-up vibe. They also tried Better by Newy's Screaming Jets, but that just seemed overly cruel when the team landed three wooden spoons in a row.
Even Perth has the upbeat Heaven (Must Be There) by the Eurogliders, although the lyric is about escaping the place - a well-trodden thematic device used in Western Australia's popular music.
Darwin has the hauntingly beautiful Whenever it Snows by Tex, Don and Charlie.
There are many songs about Sydney and Melbourne. Paul Kelly's Sydney From A 747 and his ode to Melbourne Leaps and Bounds are both wonderful, but the less celebrated Adelaide is lyrically superior to both:
"The wisteria on the back veranda is still blooming
And all the great aunts are either insane or dead
Kensington Road runs straight for a while before turning
We lived on the bend, it was there I was raised and fed."
Considering the amount of musical talent that has emerged and continues to emerge from Newcastle, it is disappointing there has not been a song that the city has embraced in the way that Brisbane latched onto Sounds of Then (This is Australia) by GANGgajang. Sure, we have had Daniel
Arvidson's Newcastle, and Eileen Doyle's and Bob Corbett's Heart to Newcastle and they are both good ditties, but Newcastle is yet to land the big one that will stand the test of time.
It may be being written right now.
