Stumps
Yep, that’s it, play has officially been abandoned for the day. It’s mildly frustrating for England, but they are still on course for their 11th victory in 12 Tests after another dominant day.
Joe Root’s unbeaten 153 helped them to 435 for eight declated, then Jimmy Anderson and Jack Leach took three wickets apiece as New Zealand slipped meekly to 138 for seven. They trail by 297 runs and will probably be asked to follow on tomorrow morning. Thanks for your company and emails – morning!
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Play needs to resume by 5am GMT, and the prospects aren’t great.
Still drizzling in Wellington. Latest possible start time is 6:00pm NZT. #NZvENG https://t.co/o1h6YmmIvV
— BLACKCAPS (@BLACKCAPS) February 25, 2023
On this day 30 years ago…
The covers are going back on, so there that goes. I suspect we’re done for the day.
Updated
Some of the covers are coming off, although there’s still a bit of mizzle in the air. The umpires are having a chat this very same moment.
“May I recommend something from the timeless Nick Drake to help in these early hours?” says Morgan Edwards. “His dulcet tones should prove quite the soundtrack to a 4am shift. Perhaps Black Eyed Dog, Pink Moon or Parasite. I won’t be held responsible for you falling asleep on the keyboard.”
“Waiting to board a flight from Manila to Kuala Lumpur,” says Spencer Robinson. “Tell us the batsmen who survived maiden overs from you. We need to know.”
Nobody deserves that level of public shaming. Cancel culture is bad enough but you’re suggesting something truly barbaric.
On BT Sport, Alison Mitchell isn’t optimistic that there will be any more play today.
4am listening
“Morning sir,” says Alan Leece. “Innocuous maidens are never really so as they can be part of an attack that strangles runs and allows the strike bowlers to take wickets of pressured batters.
“Perhaps Mullally was unfortunate in not having reliable wicket takers alongside. Very few have the likes of Branderson. Maidens are maidens. If the batter chooses to leave them they may be applying their own pressure.”
I suppose the point I was trying to make about Mullally (or whoever) is that some maidens include four or five deliveries so wide that the batters can just ignore them. I’m not sure that builds anywhere near as much pressure as, say, an over that compromises four forward defensives, a play-and-miss and a nervous leave. But it’s fair to say maidens aren’t my Mastermind subject; I’ve bowled about two in my life.
Rain stops play
Urgh. It’s not heavy, but it is wet, so the players are heading off the field. New Zealand trail by 297.
42nd over: New Zealand 138-7 (Blundell 25, Southee 23) Southee crunches a yorker back at Broad, then misses an extravagant cut at a wider short ball. It’s pretty clear where Southee sits on the good time/long time spectrum; a single takes him to 23 from 18 balls.
41st over: New Zealand 135-7 (Blundell 24, Southee 21) Here’s a list of the top runscorers across the two series, home and away, between England and New Zealand in the last 10 months. Blundell has been terrific, with 540-odd runs at an average of 77, and so far in this innings he has looked comfortable. He gets four more with a classy back-foot drive through backward point off Leach.
The leading wickettaker, since you asked, is Jimmy Anderson, with 21 at an average of 14.
“I’m not familiar with the small batting pad subterfuge (sadly rendered obsolete by DRS),” says Brian Withington, “but I guess another example of sportswear gaming the rules would be the way that boxers’ ‘shorts’ waistbands have crept up the torso over the years (‘doing a Cowell’), presumably to minimise the body shot target area by increasing the referee’s perception of the ‘low blow’ zone.”
It can’t be long before someone strolls into the ring looking like this.
40th over: New Zealand 131-7 (Blundell 20, Southee 21) Southee has a lusty mow across the line at Broad and top-edges over the leaping Foakes for four. He nails the next attacking stroke, pinging Broad into the crowd at cow corner. That’s the 78th six of his Test career, which puts him level with MS Dhoni.
That is some 𝗖𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗡 hitting 🏏
— Cricket on BT Sport (@btsportcricket) February 25, 2023
Tim Southee now equals MS Dhoni for number of Test match 6️⃣s with 78... #NZvENG pic.twitter.com/1qoa2odbMt
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39th over: New Zealand 120-7 (Blundell 19, Southee 11) Southee has decided to try to hit his team back into this. I think that’s the right approach – New Zealand might as well try to disturb England’s equilibrium.
“It was interesting to see both your good self and some other media commentators purring over Robinson’s maidens, whereas at the ground it felt like his first 22 balls were poor, letting the batters leave easily,” says Paul Cockburn. “Maidens are such a deceptive metric. He wasn’t unplayable; he just didn’t need to be played. But ball 23 came along, and I’ll get my coat…”
That’s interesting. From, er, 12,000 miles away, it felt like even the leaves were uncomfortable for the batters. Totally agree about maidens though – from memory Alan Mullally used to be good at bowling innocuous spells of 6-2-8-0.
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38th over: New Zealand 118-7 (Blundell 19, Southee 9) Southee deposits Broad high over the leg side for six. That’s his 77th in Tests, which puts him 23 ahead of the next-best lower-order batter – Broad himself.
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37th over: New Zealand 111-7 (Blundell 19, Southee 2) Blundell, who has been left alone on the burning deck, rocks back to cart Leach over midwicket for four. Good shot.
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36th over: New Zealand 105-7 (Blundell 14, Southee 1) “Whilst I’m thoroughly enjoying these barnstorming, Bazballing performances, I can’t help but feel a little aggrieved that I have to find something else to entertain myself with, given this match could well be wrapped up inside three days (just like the first),” says Morgan Edwards. “The first two India-Australia Tests were also wound up inside three days. That’s eight days of the pure form lost to the ether! Yes the Women’s T20 World Cup has been a good watch, and I’ve been able to catch some of the Pakistani and Bangladeshi T20 leagues, but nothing can replace the five-day format. What are we to do?!”
While it’s not quite the same as live sport, I plan to spend the next few years of my life lost in the DM Mordecai rabbit hole. All are welcome, yes indeed.
WICKET! New Zealand 103-7 (Bracewell ct and b Broad 6)
And that’s Blockbusters. Bracewell is too early on a defensive stroke – the ball may have stopped in the pitch – and gives Broad a simple return catch. New Zealand are falling in a heap.
A comfortable catch for Broady ☝️
— Cricket on BT Sport (@btsportcricket) February 25, 2023
New Zealand are struggling here in Wellington... #NZvENG pic.twitter.com/lir4m1G5XB
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35th over: New Zealand 103-6 (Blundell 13, Bracewell 6) Bracewell sweeps Leach round the corner for four to take New Zealand into three figures.
34th over: New Zealand 98-6 (Blundell 13, Bracewell 1) Stuart Broad replaces James Anderson after tea. I’ll be with in a second, just as soon as I manage to force a compression sock onto my swollen foot.
A quiet over from Broad, two from it. The new batter Michael Bracewell is off the mark.
“I can’t help but notice how tired you are commentating in the early hours in England,” says Will Anderson. “As a Pom living in Australia, I’d be happy to stand in and pretend to be you. So you can catch up on some zzzzzs!”
Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich.
“I wonder what my contemporary Richard Hadlee might make of this?” says David Broadhurst. “That great all-rounder might not like the current scorecard. In any case, thanks to NZ for their commitment to cricket.”
On the subject of the great man, look at his performance against England in this game: 99 from 81 balls on a vile pitch, then match figures of 35-15-44-8.
Catch of the day
What on earth 🤯
— Cricket on BT Sport (@btsportcricket) February 25, 2023
This is 𝗨𝗡𝗕𝗘𝗟𝗜𝗘𝗩𝗔𝗕𝗟𝗘 from Ollie Pope 🔥
The perfect to finish the session! #NZvENG pic.twitter.com/hehHIe5UO0
“In defence of my wrist-strap pedantry, Mitchell has a discrete sweat band on left wrist (not right) that he wears very close to a smaller glove strap,” says Brian Withington. “Although the latter is still a little too generous for my liking it nevertheless achieves the desirable goal of reducing the area that qualifies as glove. Also it is very distinctively differentiated by the use of a chequered black and white pattern to aid the discerning DRS reviewer in coming to a ‘not out’ decision.”
Interesting. I suppose it’s worth looking into. Didn’t somebody wear smaller pads so that the umpire would think the ball was hitting higher than it actually did when there was an LBW appeal?
Tea: New Zealand trail by 339 runs
33rd over: New Zealand 96-6 (Blundell 12) The perfect end to another dominant session from England, who picked up four top-order wickets for 84 runs. Will Young fell to a snorter from Jimmy Anderson, Tom Latham and Henry Nicholls both paid the ultimate price* for having the effrontery to reverse sweep Jack Leach, and Daryl Mitchell was snaffled memorably by Ollie Pope on the stroke of tea.
* Losing your wicket isn’t actually the ultimate price, is it. But that’s given me a helluvan idea to increase the appeal of five-day cricket. Who wouldn’t want to watch Squid Test?
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WICKET! New Zealand 96-6 (Mitchell c Pope b Leach 13)
Ollie Pope takes a stunning catch on the stroke of tea. Mitchell pushed defensively at a ball that bounced enough to hit high on the bat, and Pope – who was almost on the pitch at silly point – thrust out his right hand to take a marvellous reaction catch. That was brilliant.
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32nd over: New Zealand 94-5 (Mitchell 12, Blundell 11) The last ball of Anderson’s over is flicked crisply through midwicket for two by Mitchell. I thought that would be tea but it looks like there is time for another over from Jack Leach.
31st over: New Zealand 90-5 (Mitchell 9, Blundell 10) It’s a quiet spell, with New Zealand batting for tea – one more over after this – and Leach still trying to work out the best pace for this surface.
Here’s Brian Withington. “Returning to the 15th over and the splendid observation by the appropriately named Martin Saville about the proliferation of ‘ll’ in the NZ scorecard (he preambles breathlessly): prompted by a recent episode of University Challenge and a quick peek at Wiki, may I observe that the digraph <ll> is apparently a voiceless alveolar lateral fricative in the Welsh language. I’m sure Blundell keeps repeating this thought as Jimmy approaches the wicket.”
It’s 2.34am on a Saturday morning, and suddenly I feel a long way out of my depth.
30th over: New Zealand 89-5 (Mitchell 9, Blundell 9) Mitchell and Blundell made four century stands during the last English summer, usually when New Zealand were in a bit of bother, so England won’t feel like they have blown the innings open until they end this partnership. They’re still in a helluva position, mind, with a lead of 346 and an ocean of time in which to turn dominance into victory.
29th over: New Zealand 86-5 (Mitchell 8, Blundell 7) Mitchell, groping defensively, is beaten by a vicious delivery from Leach that turns and, more importantly, bounces prodigiously. Not bad for a day two pitch in New Zealand.
“Are there any stats on the number of times the reverse sweep is attempted against the number of dismissals it results in,” says Johnny Goodyear. “Suspect it is a (horribly) statistically dangerous option etc.”
It’s a copout, but it really does depend on the individual. For eg, if I’ve read the CricViz data correctly, AB de Villiers was 131 for nought on the reverse sweep in Test matches and Joe Root is 209 for three. At the other end of the scale, Henry Nicholls is 40 for three and Jos Buttler 73 for five.
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28th over: New Zealand 84-5 (Mitchell 6, Blundell 7) After a fine spell of 7-4-4-0, Robinson gives way to Anderson. Blundell, who is batting outside his crease, drives stylishly through mid-off for four.
27th over: New Zealand 80-5 (Mitchell 6, Blundell 3) A maiden from Leach to Mitchell.
26th over: New Zealand 80-5 (Mitchell 6, Blundell 3) Blundell times Robinson through point for two. The TV commentators are praising Stokes, yet again, for his captaincy – it sounds like he deliberately left a huge gap at point which tempted both Latham and Nicholls into the reverse sweep.
“Latham’s dismissal once again makes me wonder why in an era of DRS that batting gloves still have such generous wrist straps,” says Brian Withington. “Surely better to sport a separate sweatband and a smaller glove strap? Some of us worry about these things when we’re not misidentifying bat makers …”
I’m all for marginal marginal gains, but I’m not sure my brain can process this at 2.13am on a Saturday morning. Would you be able to have a separate band? Doesn’t it help protect the wrist?
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25th over: New Zealand 78-5 (Mitchell 6, Blundell 1) Nicholls played really well, making 30 from 38 balls, and he’ll probably wonder whether there was any need for such funky stuff. Then again, modern batters don’t really see the reverse sweep as unorthodox.
The new batter Blundell is beaten by a ball from Leach that grips and bounces sharply outside off.
Updated
WICKET! New Zealand 77-5 (Nicholls c Pope b Leach 30)
Another reverse-sweep, another soft dismissal. Nicholls gloved it onto the arm, and Pope reacted superbly at short leg to take a one-handed catch to his left.
It's that man again 🤩
— Cricket on BT Sport (@btsportcricket) February 25, 2023
Leachy with another breakthrough after Ollie Pope's fantastic reactions 🔥
Henry Nicholls is gone for 30... #NZvENG pic.twitter.com/n8cTfDfIQd
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24th over: New Zealand 77-4 (Nicholls 30, Mitchell 6) Of those who have scored at least 500 Test runs against England, only Don Bradman and Stewie Dempster have a higher average than Mitchell’s 85. It almost drops to 76 when he chases a wide one from Robinson and is beaten. The next ball jags back extravagantly to hit Mitchell high on the pad. This is a classic interrogation from Robinson
23rd over: New Zealand 75-4 (Nicholls 30, Mitchell 4) Nicholls sweeps Leach firmly behind square for four, a shot so rewarding that he repeats it later in the over. Fine batting from Nicholls, who has quietly raced to 30 from 36 balls.
Meanwhile, I see Will Young is trending, but I don’t think it’s because he nicked a jffa from Jimmy Anderson earlier in the day.
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22nd over: New Zealand 65-4 (Nicholls 20, Mitchell 4) Robinson has a right-hander to play with now. Mitchell inside-edges a beautiful nipbacker onto the flap of the pad, with the ball dropping short of the slips. He’s bowling immaculately, with seam, bat-jarring bounce, aggression and the usual accuracy, and his figures are now 6-4-2-0.
21st over: New Zealand 64-4 (Nicholls 19, Mitchell 4) Daryl Mitchell walks down the track to drive his first ball whence it came for four, a shot of class and intent.
There is one replay that suggests the ball hit Latham’s armguard rather than his glove, but the side-on angle suggests the opposite. I really don’t think Aleem Dar had any choice but to stay with Chris Gaffaney’s decision.
Updated
WICKET! New Zealand 60-4 (Latham c Root b Leach 35)
Latham walks off shaking his head. I can understand why, but I don’t think Aleem Dar had any other choice – the evidence was not conclusive either way, so he had to stay with the on-field decision.
Controversy here 👀
— Cricket on BT Sport (@btsportcricket) February 25, 2023
Latham has been hit on the glove and has been given out caught behind...
Leach picks up his first ☝️#NZvENG pic.twitter.com/ERbrVKyv1o
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New Zealand review! Latham c Root b Leach 35
Latham tries to reverse sweep Leach, and the ball loops into the hands of Root at slip. He’s given out but reviews straight away. This is a tough one for the third umpire, though I suspect it will be given out. It definitely hit the strapping on Latham’s forearm, but it’s hard to say with any certainty that it didn’t hit the armband of the glove.
Updated
20th over: New Zealand 60-3 (Latham 35, Nicholls 19) Robinson finally concedes a run off his 26th delivery, with Latham tucking a single to leg. The over ends with Nicholls pushing the ball back to Robinson, who collects and demolishes the stumps. He’s not averse to picking a fight in an attempt to get himself going.
“One supposes that other Test nations will be trying to repeat England’s success in their own set up before long, so it would not be at all surprising to find the Black Caps giving it a go as ‘England in disguise’,” says Chris Bourne. “The big question is whether Cricket Australia, or the BCCI, is capable of relieving its players of pressure and inviting them just to go out and entertain the crowds in the same way. What has changed for England is not the skill set of the players but the weight of expectation placed on their shoulders and the grinding seriousness inflicted on touring parties in the past.”
Given that England’s white- and red-ball revolutions were inspired by New Zealand, if New Zealand become England in disguise will that break the space/time continuum?
19th over: New Zealand 59-3 (Latham 34, Nicholls 19) Time for a bit of spin from Jack Leach. Nicholls gloves a sweep, with the ball landing safely on the leg side, and then nails another for a single.
There’s a bit of spin for Leach, but not enough to deter Latham from coming down the track to launch a languid six over log on. Cracking shot.
Updated
18th over: New Zealand 51-3 (Latham 27, Nicholls 18) Thanks Tim, morning everyone. A slightly scruffy handover there, mainly as I dropped the baton. But I picked it up in time to see Robinson continue his immaculate spell with another maiden to Latham, who left one ball that bounced just over the stumps and was then beaten by some extravagant movement. Robinson’s figures are Ambrosian: 4-4-0-0.
17th over: New Zealand 51-3 (Latham 27, Nicholls 18) It’s still Broad, and it’s still not happening for him. Latham cover-drives for three to bring up the NZ fifty.
Time for me to hand over to the mighty Rob Smyth. Thanks for your company, correspondence and quips about Bazball.
16th over: New Zealand 47-3 (Latham 24, Nicholls 17) Robinson continues with his quiet masterclass. His third over is also his third maiden.
15th over: New Zealand 47-3 (Latham 24, Nicholls 17) Busy as ever, Stokes takes Anderson off and brings Broad straight back from the other end. He produces a better over that goes for just a single.
Time to tackle the real issues. “What the LL?” exclaims Martin Saville. “Looks like New Zealand have 4 consecutive batters with a double LL in their surname – Nicholls, Mitchell, Blundell and Bracewell. Surely a record in itself – but with artistic licence, you could add Will Young and therefore link in Williamson for a 6 in a row. Surely no other Test side in history has had 4 consecutive batters with the same double letter, let alone 6?!!”
That’s the OBO for you: all killer, no filler.
14th over: New Zealand 46-3 (Latham 23, Nicholls 17) For the second time today, Broad is removed from the attack and replaced by Ollie Robinson. He’s so consistent, staying in the channel, joining the dots and then beating Nicholls with a ball that swings both ways – first into the left-hander, then away. And when it pitches, it sends a piece of green turf flying.
13th over: New Zealand 46-3 (Latham 23, Nicholls 17) Anderson isn’t happy either, muttering to himself and to the batters as they take a single or two and a three. They’ve added 25 in no time (4.3 overs). Are they England in disguise?
12th over: New Zealand 41-3 (Latham 20, Nicholls 15) Broad bowls a good ball and gets punished for it as Latham’s controlled edge pierces the cordon and goes for four. Then he bowls a poor ball and gets punished for that too as Nicholls helps himself to a freebie on his pads. In between, Broad calls for some sawdust to fill in his footmarks on the crease. Proof, not that it was needed, that you can be unplayable one week and struggling the next.
11th over: New Zealand 33-3 (Latham 15, Nicholls 12) Nicholls, who’s been out of sorts for about a year, is hitting his way back into form. Facing Anderson, he on-drives for four, then clips off the hip for four more. He has actually started better than Brook did.
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10th over: New Zealand 25-3 (Latham 15, Nicholls 4) A maiden from Broad, though he still hasn’t found what he’s looking for – his rhythm.
Jimmy Anderson now has 10 wickets in the series, 10 for 67 at an average of 6.7. He has 28 wickets since turning 40, at an average of 13.60. “What’s he going to be like,” one of the Kiwi commentators says, “when he’s 50?”
9th over: New Zealand 25-3 (Latham 15, Nicholls 4) Racking my brains trying to remember when I last saw a Test team 21-3… Oh yes, it was yesterday – England, in this match. That worked out OK. Henry Nicholls, cast in the role of Harry Brook, shows some intent with a square force for four.
WICKET! Young c Foakes b Anderson 2 (NZ 21-3)
Another one! A beauty from Anderson, a forward push from Young, a nick off the shoulder and a simple catch. You know when you’ve been Jimmied.
OHHHHH JIMMY JIMMY
— Cricket on BT Sport (@btsportcricket) February 25, 2023
He is on the money today 💰
James Anderson is far too good 🔥#NZvENG pic.twitter.com/YN3uMYyUSo
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8th over: New Zealand 21-2 (Latham 15, Young 2) Stuart Broad returns for his second spell (yes, really) and Latham takes him on, very politely, with pushes on either side of the wicket for two, four and two more. Are the Kiwis going to do to Broad what England have done to Wagner?
Lunch: NZ tottering
7th over: New Zealand 12-2 (Latham 7, Young 1) Will Young, back in the team in place of the fourth seamer, gets off the mark with a nudge for a single. Latham hits the first boundary of the innings, a slash over the slips, played with conviction. That’s more like it. But as the players troop off for lunch, NZ have undone most of the good work they put in earlier. Jimmy Anderson has 4-1-9-2 and England are on course for their whole-winter whitewash. Time for some toast.
6th over: New Zealand 7-2 (Latham 3, Young 0) Stokes makes an early change, replacing Broad with his natural heir, Ollie Robinson. He beats Latham outside off, getting some lovely lift. Another maiden. Say what you like about NZ, they haven’t been drawn into playing England at their own game.
“Good morning Tim!” says Becky Chantry, sounding alarmingly bright. “I’m lucky enough to be out in Singapore so have a much healthier time difference to New Zealand to work with.” Aha.
“One thing I’m really enjoying about ‘New England’ is the aggressive declaration choices by Stokes. We’ve got runs on the board, giving our bowlers a chance at NZ before the lunch interval has already paid off. Really enjoying watching the #1 Test bowler in action!”
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5th over: New Zealand 7-2 (Latham 3, Young 0) After starting off so full, Anderson went short to Williamson, as if trying to push him back for the next full one – but the second and wider of two successive short balls was enough to defeat him.
Anderson’s figures for this series are just as striking as Williamson’s: 9 for 58 at an average of 6.44.
ENG men's last 10 Test scores or 150+ have all been made by Yorkshire batters
— Mark Puttick (@GryllidaeC) February 24, 2023
Root 153* v NZ 2023
Brook 186 v NZ 2023
Brook 153 v PAK 2022
Bairstow 162 v NZ 2022
Root 176 v NZ 2022
Root 153 v WI 2022
Root 180* v IND 2021
Root 218 v IND 2021
Root 186 v SL 2021
Root 228 v SL 2021
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WICKET! Williamson c Foakes b Anderson 4 (NZ 7-2)
The big one! Williamson flirts outside off and instantly regrets it as he gets a nick through to the keeper. His tally for the series is 9 runs at an average of 3.
4th over: New Zealand 7-1 (Latham 3, Williamson 4) Williamson faces Broad for the first time in this innings. He plays his signature shot, the glide past the cordon, and gets three for it.
3rd over: New Zealand 4-1 (Latham 3, Williamson 1) Anderson is bowling a full length and the batters are doing their best to get forward. Kane Williamson, who missed out in Mount Maunganui, gets off the mark with a forward push. Latham, following suit, picks up two.
2nd over: New Zealand 1-1 (Latham 1, Williamson 0) Stuart Broad has a left-hander to bowl to, in Latham, but his radar isn’t quite right yet – a couple of good ones on off stump, a couple down the leg side. That’s a maiden.
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1st over: New Zealand 1-1 (Latham 1, Williamson 0) So it’s 1 for 1, and that’s down to the world No 1 bowler.
“Root’s batting average in Tests,” says Dave Brooker in Comox, British Columbia. “Well, it’s back above 50, innit?” It is: 50.01. Never mind the young bucks, Stokes has got the old boys into the groove.
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WICKET! Conway c Foakes b Anderson 0 (NZ 1-1)
Ooh, good ball – Devon Conway plays and misses. Or does he? Ben Foakes thinks he’s heard something, there’s a noisy debate, Ben Stokes is up for a review, and there’s a spike on UltraEdge! Poor Conway wanders off, shaking his head.
An innings in three acts
First act: England 21-3 off 6.4 overs. Bazball on the brink.
Second act: England 302-0 off 60.3 overs. Bazball back in business.
Third act: England 112-5 off 20 overs. A T20 innings, bit of a mess, but Joe Root carries his bat.
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Root goes to 150! And England declare on 435-8
87.1 overs: England 435-8 (Root 153, Leach 6) Root plays one last lovely shot, a well-timed whip for four. As warm applause rings around this very round ground, Root waves his bat and runs off, because Stokes was just waiting for that milestone.
86th over: England 431-8 (Root 149, Leach 6) Jack Leach comes to the party with a classy push into the covers for two, followed by a less classy edge over second slip for four.
“I’m quietly confident,” says Kim Thonger, “that Joe will accelerate now and get his triple century with support from Jack and Jim who might each score as many as 10.”
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86th over: England 424-8 (Root 148, Leach 0) Bit of a collector’s item here: a wicket-maiden. And still no declaration.
“Oh boy, Scottish football,” says Simon McMahon. “Thanks for reminding me, Tim. But at least we have Andy Murray, who saved 5 – FIVE – match points on his way to the tennis final in Doha this weekend. I’ve no doubt, like someone else, he’ll still be going at 40 too…”
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WICKET! Robinson c Southee b Henry 18 (England 424-8)
The ball after being dropped by Tom Blundell behind the wicket, Robinson steps away and gives the gentlest kind of catching practice to mid-off.
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85th over: England 424-7 (Root 148, Robinson 18) Robinson hits Southee for two, two, and another two, with an on-drive, a straight thump, and a right old slog that might have gone to hand had the man in the deep not slipped. Meanwhile the cameras find a baby in the crowd, wearing a psychedelic bucket hat, ready for its first festival.
“Joe Root obviously saw Stokes on the balcony,” says Brendan Large. “Next two balls were a 6 & 4 from Root. My question is... was that Stokes asking to declare or him double bluffing Root to get him going to his 150?” I wish I knew!
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84th over: England 417-7 (Root 148, Robinson 11) Henry’s over goes for just three – two singles and a wide.
Here’s Clare Dowding, picking up on the 78th over. “Re your observation that in the case of the three girls playing their own game ‘the bowler is dressed as a dragon and the wicketkeeper as a witch’ – please don’t go giving the ECB ideas…” Ha.
83rd over: England 414-7 (Root 147, Robinson 10) Thick grey cloud, pea-green pitch, wine-red ball: Ollie Robinson would probably rather be bowling right now. But if he’s got to bat, he may as well have a go. He gets a leading edge over the slips for four, then plonks over mid-on for two. England are basically playing beach cricket.
82nd over: England 408-7 (Root 147, Robinson 4) Henry returns for the new ball. Root’s getting a bit tired of the old reverse scoop, so he plays one the right way round. He looks as if he’s spilt some salt and is throwing it over his shoulder for good luck. Four more.
Drinks: England 400 up
81st over: England 401-7 (Root 142, Robinson 2) Southee takes the new ball, gets it to bounce and beats the bat a couple of times. Root thinks “sod it”, plays a flat pull for six – that rifle sound again – and follows up with a reverse scoop for four. The players take drinks, with England probably still on top but suddenly giving New Zealand a sniff.
80th over: England 390-7 (Root 132, Robinson 1) Michael Bracewell now has two for 54. He’s like a spin version of Sam Curran, so often having an impact, but he’ll presumably stand down now the new ball is due.
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WICKET! Broad LBW b Bracewell 14 (England 389-7)
You miss, I hit. Bracewell tosses it up, Broad hits thin air with his sweep and up goes Rod Tucker’s finger. Broad reviews, rapidly but fruitlessly.
79th over: England 388-6 (Root 132, Broad 14) Broad finds himself up Wagner’s end. Just one aged enforcer standing in front of another. Wagner, true to form, bangs it in; Broad, true to form, hooks for four.
“Ha, magnificent,” says Simon McMahon, generously, picking up on the 72nd over. “The confectionery stall line has to be probably the greatest ever in all of sports commentary. Cheers, hope you’re well. Thanks to you and all at the Guardian for what you do.” And to you, for all those crisp summaries of Scottish football.
78th over: England 381-6 (Root 130, Broad 8) Root hits a lovely shot, a slog-sweep for six off Bracewell that comes with a crack to silence the traffic on the Basin Reserve roundabout. The camera finds three children playing their own game of cricket – all girls, aged about seven. Their pitch is even greener than the real thing, although there the resemblance ends, as the bowler is dressed as a dragon and the wicketkeeper as a witch.
77th over: England 370-6 (Root 121, Broad 6) Root, facing Wagner, misses a reverse scoop and finds himself the subject of a review. Southee goes for it at the last second: if he’s unsure, he’s right to be, as it hit Root outside the line. NZ lose their last review! Broad stands and delivers and gets four over mid-off.
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76th over: England 365-6 (Root 120, Broad 2) Here’s Stuart Broad, the dayhawk. He plays a lap shot, so blatantly telegraphed that the man at short leg almost has time to anticipate it.
WICKET! Foakes st Blundell b Bracewell 0 (England 363-6)
One brings two! Foakes takes a stride forward, falls over and presents his fellow wickie Tom Blundelll with an easy stumping. Who on earth described him as sober?
75th over: England 362-5 (Root 119, Foakes 0) So Ben Foakes joins Root, the most sober pairing in this England top seven. Wagner has one for 106, the new ball is only five overs away, and NZ are back in the game.
“What is David Gower on about?” asks Andrew Benton. “Momentum’s old style. Bazball needs no momentum, its about the moment, every moment. Bazball has consigned momentum to history. It’s all about moments now.”
WICKET! Stokes c sub (Kuggeleijn) b Wagner 27 (England 362-5)
Wagner strikes! Stokes has a big swing, looking to clear the ring again, but can only give a simple catch, a few yards to Kuggeleijn’s right at mid-off.
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74th over: England 361-4 (Root 118, Stokes 27) It’s a double change as Henry hands over to Michael Bracewell for some spin. That’s brave. He has an appeal for LBW first ball against Stokes, which might be worth a review if NZ had more than one left. Stokes pulls out the reverse sweep, nails it and gets four, then tries again and misses as Bracewell finds some bounce.
73rd over: England 355-4 (Root 118, Stokes 21) The first bowling change of the day as Southee replaces himself – what a self-replacing guy he is. On comes Neil Wagner, who’s been the whipping boy in this series. He goes round the wicket to Root, trying to cramp him for room. Root gives him the charge and whacks over midwicket, but only gets a single for it. Four singles off the over, which may feel like a triumph for Wagner.
71st over: England 351-4 (Root 116, Stokes 19) Stokes makes room again and cuts a length ball for four through gully. His 19 has come off 18 balls.
“Evening/morning Tim,” says Simon McMahon. “Gower doesn’t seem to be fully on board with Bazball. And he talks too much anyway. Benaud would’ve loved it. But said less about it.”
(Long pause.)
That one’s gone into the history books and out again.
71st over: England 344-4 (Root 115, Stokes 13) Facing Southee, Stokes goes for a yahoo, skies it and should be caught at mid-on – no, the wind is on England’s side again, and the ball just evades the sub fielder, Scott Kuggeleijn. Southee sticks to his task and prioduces a jaffa, jagging away. Stokes misses it by a full bat-width.
70th over: England 341-4 (Root 113, Stokes 12) Root takes a single off Henry, whereupon Stokes steps away to leg, twice – first driving to mid-off for no run, then lofting a cut over the ring for four. Then he misses a scoop. “He’s trying absolutely every trick in the book here,” says David Gower. “Danger is if you overdo it, you lose a couple of wickets and lose that momentum.” My guess is that Stokes is even more relaxed about that than usual, because, with 300 in the bank already, he may be thinking of declaring before long.
“Personally,” says Paul Griffin, “I thought it was quite a streaky triple-century stand, and wonder whether Baz has taken this team as far as he can, or perhaps even lost the dressing room.”
This is what Bazball has done to us @TimdeLisle. Root and Stokes at the crease and we're disappointed.
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) February 24, 2023
69th over: England 336-4 (Root 112, Stokes 8) Root, like Stokes, is an older man in a hurry. He charges Southee, plays the pull as Southee bangs it in, gets a top-edge but escapes as the wind carries the ball into a gap at long leg. That brings two and he follows it with three via a more orthodox route, clipped off the toes. Stokes, facing his opposite number for the first time since the toss, is respectful, even managing a leave.
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68th over: England 331-4 (Root 107, Stokes 8) Here’s Ben Stokes, glancing his third ball off his hips for four, then dancing down the track and cover-driving on the up for four more. So a batter departs with 186 off 176 balls, and the run rate gets quicker.
WICKET! Brook c&b Henry 186 (England 323-4)
Got him! After all those edges, Brook finally middles one but doesn’t keep it down. It heads for Henry’s midriff and he does well to take a juggling catch. So after all that we have a thumping anti-climax, as Brook misses out on his first double hundred. Ah well, it’s good for the game.
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The 300 partnership!
67th over: England 323-3 (Root 107, Brook 186) At the other end it’s Tim Southee, the second most threatening bowler so far. Root, standing well outside his crease again, plays a couple of defensive shots and then decides he’s had enough of this and reverse-scoops for six. That takes the partnership to 302.
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66th over: England 317-3 (Root 101, Brook 186) It’s Matt Henry, the most threatening bowler so far. He’s on the spot right away and Brook is a bit edgy – an edge into the slips, low and safe enough, and then a thick inside edge into the on side for two. When Henry slips in a bouncer, it’s a lively one, if a bit trampoline-ish. When he goes back of a length, Brook plays a cut and gets another edge – a bottom one. He’s going for the full house!
Joe Root has a word with Harry Brook, and a smile, as he lets him take the field first. Root gets a smile back and runs past Brook. I wonder if it feels like batting with your younger self.
It’s grey in Wellington but not actually raining. The pitch, seen from above, is still a pea-souper.
“Boa noite Tim,” says Geoff Wignall. “Looking at those Harry Brook stats, his weakness seems rather glaring: he’s averaging only 100 balls or so per innings. So he’s getting good starts but failing to capitalise on them. If he could just learn to concentrate he might prove a handy addition to the middle order though.” Ha.
Preamble
Hello everyone and welcome to the latest instalment of the OBO. Ben Stokes’s England bandwagon, which had a prang yesterday morning, is back in the fast lane.
At the wheel is Harry Brook, who just can’t stop making big scores at high speed. Yesterday we flagged up the record for most runs by any batsman in his first nine Test innings, just as Brook entered the top five. By the time the day came to a soggy end, he was No 1. He has hammered 807 runs in those nine innings – the first man ever to reach 800 so fast, eclipsing Vinod Kambli of India on 798 – and he’s still in, threatening to add a few more.
Brook already has 20 sixes in his six Tests, the same as Lance Klusener, the fearsome South African hitter of the Nineties, managed in 49. No previous batsman from any country has averaged two sixes per Test: the closest is Shahid Afridi of Pakistan with 52 in 27 (average 1.93). Until Brook came along, the closest playing today was Shimron Hetmyer of West Indies, who has 27 sixes from 16 Tests (1.69), just ahead of Rishabh Pant of India, who has a mathematically satisfying 55 from 33 (1.67). Brook’s average is 3.33. Yes, the man hits sixes at twice the speed of Pant.
There are 732 batsmen who have made 750 runs in Tests, and Brook has the highest strike rate of them all. His 807 runs have come off 812 balls, so his strike rate is 99.38. The next best (by Afridi) is 86.97. That 99 is a classy touch, making Brook the Bradman of the bish-bosh era. His actual Test average is even higher, at 100.87, but we mustn’t get too excited about that as it’s inflated by a not-out in this innings. When he finally gets out, his average will plummet – to a minimum of 89.67.
His hot spell won’t last forever, of course. Brook has already had one bad patch in his international career, during last year’s T20 World Cup, when the bouncy Australian pitches bothered him and he mustered only 56 in five innings. He may be just a bilateral-series bully. He may be no more than the new Kambli, or the new Jonathan Trott (on speed).
But to my untrained eye he seems really special, because everything happens so fast, from his grasp of length to the way his hands fly into the shot – everything except his choice of stroke, which often comes deliciously late. His hitting is astonishingly clean. He’s a phenomenon: let’s enjoy it while it lasts, while sparing a twinge of sympathy for any Kiwi supporters in the house.
Play starts half an hour early today, to make up some of the time lost to the rain. There are more showers forecast, but they don’t look too bad. Do drop by at 10.30am local time, 9.30pm GMT, to see if Brook can get his first double hundred (in professional cricket, never mind Tests). It shouldn’t take long.
