With the NBA season set to tip off Tuesday, Sports Illustrated is unveiling its entertainment rankings for the 2023–24 season. The rankings are based on a proprietary blend of star power, offensive output, vibes, pace and a bunch of other unnameable intangibles that give me the right to put teams where I see fit. If your favorite team is too low, it’s either because I despise watching them, or the league is actually kind of deep with interesting teams. At the end of the day, consider this a guide to when you’re scrolling League Pass and wondering which game would be the most fun to throw on.
30. Hornets
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Even with LaMelo Ball, Charlotte is a pretty blah team. The MrBeast jersey patch sponsorship is bleak. Michael Jordan is gone. Most importantly, though, the cloud following Miles Bridges in the wake of his domestic violence charges is a significant one. The situation was handled poorly by the NBA after Bridges pleaded no contest last year, and there have been more disturbing allegations since. I can’t sit here and say I know exactly how leagues should handle these situations, but how this one has played out hasn’t exactly been encouraging.
29. Trail Blazers
The uniforms and Portland home crowd always add a little bit of juice to a Blazers game, but this roster is slightly closer to a collection of parts than a true team. Scoot Henderson and Shaedon Sharpe are definitely worth an occasional check-in, but not much more than that (unless Henderson really takes off).
28. Raptors
Losing Nick Nurse’s funkiness and Fred VanVleet’s talent hurts the watchability, even if this team looked sick of one another at times last year.
27. Bulls
DeMar DeRozan’s late-game heroics cooled down a bit last year, and the continued absence of Lonzo Ball remains a massive bummer. Not much here in terms of anything new or exciting.
26. Wizards
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How many times can you really watch Jordan Poole put up 30 shots a game? On the nights he’s hitting everything it may be fun, but otherwise, you may get as frustrated as his teammates.
25. Pistons
O.K., we are already entering the realm of teams with redeemable qualities. It will be exciting to watch Cade Cunningham and the other young prospects here. This team still has some growing pains to experience, though.
24. Heat
What makes Jimmy Butler great—getting to the line, awesome defense, very few mistakes—doesn’t make him the most exciting player. Not until the playoffs, anyway. Until then, this team is gonna be slow, may struggle to score in the half court and will try to win bar brawls.
23. Pacers
Tyrese Haliburton and Bruce Brown are a funky little backcourt, and the pace should be brisk here. This ranking is more about the teams ahead of Indiana than the Pacers themselves.
22. Nets
Brooklyn wasn’t actually very good after the Kevin Durant trade. Still, there’s an intrigue around this team. Mikal Bridges is hard not to root for. And once again Ben Simmons deserves the slightest bit of your attention.
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21. 76ers
The vibes around this team are already cooked. James Harden is AWOL, Joel Embiid is possibly planting the seeds for an eventual trade request and the most exciting offseason acquisition was Patrick Beverley? Maybe we can reconsider if Philly makes a trade.
20. Knicks
The Knicks are perfect for New York—but not necessarily everyone else. Tom Thibodeau loves to slow the game down, and Julius Randle’s contested jumpers aren’t exactly aesthetically pleasing. Jalen Brunson is, however, a player absolutely worth stopping by for from time to time. And this team will compete every night.
19. Rockets
Fun and new! A mix of old and young! Dillon Brooks as an agent of chaos! James Harden possibly sitting courtside!
18. Jazz
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The Jazz get a bump here because they stand out. Lauri Markkanen is a shooting guard in a power forward’s body. This team plays lots of weird, lanky lineups that shouldn’t make sense but do. This is admittedly a risky bet on a group that tailed off at the end of last season. Will Hardy, don’t let me down.
17. Grizzlies
No Ja Morant for 25 games takes away much of the highlight potential, and now the loss of Steven Adams for the season is another tough blow to the team, as well as to its watchability. At the same time, Desmond Bane and Jaren Jackson Jr. deserve some love. And this squad brings out a lot of hate in its opponents, significantly raising the intensity of otherwise ordinary regular-season games.
16. Cavaliers
I believe in Evan Mobley, who maybe didn’t take the leap in Year 2 many people were expecting. Donovan Mitchell is still doing cool things with the pumpkin—he or Darius Garland can go off on any night—and new addition Georges Niang can be counted on to provoke opponents. Let’s also show some respect to Jarrett Allen’s rim protection and pitch-perfect Afro.
