If you squinted hard enough into the sunshine at Twickenham on Thursday you could almost see them. The sunlit uplands and, just beyond, the promised land of 2023 Rugby World Cup glory. But that’s the problem with mirages. You end up seeing what you want to see rather than the flashing amber warning signals seemingly visible to everyone except the Rugby Football Union.
In his first media briefing for 12 months – if he craves the spotlight he hides it well – the RFU’s chief executive, Bill Sweeney, at least did his best to sell the official vision. All the critics, former coaches, ex-players and social media warriors had got their knickers in a twist unnecessarily. Emperor Eddie Jones is still the man, the England team is still on the right track, nothing to see here, blah blah.
For a millisecond it was possible to feel sympathy for Sweeney and his director of performance, Conor O’Shea, as they recited from the same, now familiar hymn sheet. It cannot be hugely enjoyable to have to sit there and spout stuff that has a decent chance of boomeranging back to whack them hard on the back of the head next year. Maybe there would be some prearranged code word or an eye roll to indicate that, actually, they did have a few doubts but were being coerced by some delusional captor?
In a media briefing stretching over an hour, sadly, there was no such reassurance. Those suggesting the emperor has precious few clothes left were politely advised to visit Specsavers. In Eddie we should all trust. And so on. There have been slightly less choreographed North Korean weddings, not least when it came to the subject of the planned “review” into England’s latest season of Six Nations underachievement.
No surprise there, given the union has already publicly proclaimed – with the grand slam champagne corks still popping in France – that England are making “solid progress” and that Jones is still the way, the truth and the light. Even now they will still not say who will sit on the panel to rubberstamp Jones’s continuing employment because – get this – the individuals concerned want to preserve their anonymity to protect their families from any subsequent unpleasantness.
Talk about a compromised jury. “We’re quite comfortable with the panel we have,” murmured Sweeney. And right there is the RFU’s integral problem with Jones. Comfortable? That’s precisely what any self-respecting review should never, ever be. Reviews are about asking uncomfortable questions, not worrying how troublesome the answers might be.
The truth, surely, is that Jones’s regime needs more scrutiny, not less. “ Slim margins” repeated O’Shea at regular intervals and of course he is right. Top-level rugby is notoriously unforgiving. England have several fine individual players, with a few more hoping to be back fit soon. But then, bizarrely, it emerged the RFU is trying to shoehorn last season’s July thrashings of the USA and Canada into this season’s stats, rather than last year’s, to improve England’s year-on-year win ratio. No wonder England are underperforming if their senior officials don’t even know what month the season starts.
At least there was the odd enlightening snippet, not least hearing Sweeney openly complain that the national team in effect has one hand tied behind it back. “The English structure – everyone is fed up with it,” he shrugged, blaming the domestic logjam of club fixtures for knackering the players before they even reach England’s dressing room. True enough, but you’re the RFU chief executive and you wouldn’t have a competitive side without the Premiership clubs. And are those clubs really to blame for the England head coach’s gameplan? Yet another acrimonious club v country row would appear to be brewing nicely.
Then there was the slightly mournful anecdote Sweeney told about meeting Shaun Edwards 18 months ago, after the latter had signed a long‑term deal to be France’s defence coach. Like star-crossed lovers the pair went for a contemplative riverside walk from Teddington to Richmond so that Sweeney “could hear his story”. Which was basically that Edwards had not received a serious offer from England and had relocated to the south of France instead. “Did we miss him there?” asked Sweeney rhetorically. “Possibly.” That is one way of putting it.
But don’t panic, Mr Mainwaring. Everything’s fine. “Yes, we do feel in a more confident place than we were 12 months ago,” reiterated Sweeney. So you reckon Jones can still deliver in 2023? “It’s not just emotional or blind faith. Yes, we do.” For better or worse the RFU is now so tightly strapped to Jones’s lurching chariot it can no longer say anything else.
