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Chicago Tribune
Chicago Tribune
Entertainment
Nina Metz

My worst moment: ‘Fire Island’ star Margaret Cho on wearing all white and experiencing a truly crappy situation

The Hulu romantic comedy “Fire Island” takes Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” and puts a modern gay spin on it, both fizzy and incisive about classism and racism. Margaret Cho co-stars in a role that is part den mother, part provider of vacation housing.

The character was originally envisioned as a guy until she expressed interest in being part of the project. “I really wanted to be in the film as soon as I found out it was happening,” she said. She’s a longtime friend of screenwriter and star Joel Kim Booster, as well as co-star Bowen Yang. “And I’ve been going to Fire Island since 2008, so I loved the idea of the movie even before I knew what it was,” she said. “I just knew that if Joel and Bowen were in a movie that Joel had written and it was directed by Andrew Ahn and it was a queer, Asian film set on Fire Island, I just needed to be in it.”

It’s just the latest in a long career for Cho, who is both a stand-up comedian (you can see her in Netflix’s “Stand Out: An LGBTQ+ Celebration” comedy special) and an actor whose credits include everything from her own sitcom “All-American Girl” in the mid-90s, as well TV and film credits in everything from “Sex and the City” and “30 Rock” to “Hacks” and “The Flight Attendant.”

When asked about a worst moment in her career, Cho offered a qualifier: “Cringing is something that I don’t do,” she said. “I just don’t really think in terms of embarrassment or human frailty in those ways. In revealing the truest part of who you are, that’s usually when people cringe and there’s no reason to.”

“So this story is a gross moment,” she said.

My worst moment …

“I think this might have been in the early 2000s and I was in this weird phase where I was wearing all white. I don’t know why I decided to do this. I’m kind of like an old goth, but there’s a time in goth where sometimes you go white instead of black. So I was a goth wearing all white.

“So sometimes I have really bad digestion problems. And I was doing a stand-up show in Los Angeles and I was headlining and I was doing really well. And then during the standing ovation, I started to have diarrhea in my all white outfit.

“I was facing the audience, so I just kind of backed out off the stage — to look more gracious, but at the same time, I was also (pooping). But also what was weird is there was nobody backstage at all. And my car was right by the backstage door. So I was being called to do a second curtain call — the audience really loved it, and they were standing there cheering and I think they expected me to come back on — but no, when I backed out, I backed out all the way to my car and I drove home.

“I didn’t have a towel or a bag to sit on and I have fabric seats, so it was super gross and it sort of stained them.

“But I mean, I had blue cheese in my car for two years and I couldn’t find it — like, I had bought blue cheese and it had fallen out of the bag and I forgot I had bought it, and it got lost or stuck under the seat. I took it to different detailing services, I took it to the dealership, and no one could figure out what was going on. And this was during the same period.

“So my car stunk like (crap) anyway. And then there was a giant (diarrhea) stain as well and it stayed there until I got a new car. The stain on my clothing was so bad, too. It was almost like an orange spot that went from my butt to the middle of my back, I was totally soaked and the garment was ruined.”

As someone with a lot of experience working on stage, does Cho treat a show like a road trip and visit the bathroom beforehand?

“The thing about performances is that you have this adrenaline. You’re usually only out there for an hour and usually you can just hold it if you need to use the bathroom — and usually the adrenaline will carry you through because you’re only thinking about performing. Stand-up comedy is pretty physical, too. So you’re not even thinking about (using the restroom), it’s not even a point of concern because your body goes into a different state of being because you’re working: I don’t really feel hungry or thirsty or tired or need to use the bathroom. You’re on a different operating system.

“If this had happened at the middle point (of the show) and it was really urgent, I would have left and come back. I would have explained to the audience what was happening. And that’s actually happened before and it’s not a big deal. That’s just whatever. It’s the reality of: Sometimes road food is not the best. That’s a normal thing.

“But on this night, it was at the end of my performance. And that’s when I was like: Oh, I gotta go and it just started coming out. And because I had finished my performance and was just standing for the applause, that mindset of ‘I’m performing’ was gone. I was back to a person, as opposed to being a performer, so my body was like: Oh, we can go!

“So I was standing there like, I’m (pooping) right now, but I couldn’t really do anything about it. And I was wearing all white. And it was a really thin fabric. It wouldn’t have mattered so much if I wasn’t wearing all white.”

When your body betrays you …

“You don’t have a choice! So that was just a weird situation. I was freaked out. Like, what the hell was that even about? It was such a strange experience. It was just a fluke.

“But I wasn’t embarrassed. I was more amazed at the combination of factors. But it was mostly the white. And you think with white clothing that the front is going to get dirty (from spilled food or drink) but not the back. And I haven’t gone back to that style of clothes.

“Nobody knew. When I start talking about it, sometimes people will be like, ‘Oh, I was at that show! I didn’t know! You were great, I had no idea!’”

The takeaway …

“I’m never wearing all white again — unless it’s a white suit, which I think is kind of cool.”

———

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