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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
Lifestyle
Julia Banim

'My wife wants to name our baby after her late husband - I feel uncomfortable'

A man claims to have learned his wife had tricked him into picking her late husband's middle name as their baby name of choice, after he'd already made his feelings clear on this particular point.

According to this worried father-to-be, his wife had previously been set on the name James for their son, the exact same name as her previous husband who tragically passed away eight years ago.

He does sympathise with all the grief his wife has endured throughout the years, but felt this tribute was "just too weird" for him, and let her know how he felt. He'd assumed she'd taken his concerns to heart.

She agreed to have a rethink and came back to him with the name Oliver, which he loved, not knowing at first that this had in fact been her first husband's middle name.

He had no idea at first that 'Oliver' had been James' middle name (Stock Photo) (Getty Images/Radius Images)

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The true inspiration recently came to light at an awkward family dinner, during which the couple decided to announce their baby name choice.

Taking to Reddit, the unnamed man, who goes by the username u/NameUndecidedness, wrote: "Three days ago her family was over for dinner and I told them about the name we've chosen. Her sister then said 'oh, so like James?' and I was confused, so her sister said, 'well, that was James' middle name, wasn't it?'

"After they all left, I told my wife I've had it with her trying to push her late husband into our lives like this. She said we already agreed on Oliver. I told her I'm not signing the birth certificate if she names him after her former spouse.

"She says being insensitive, her mother says I should let it go because it was just a middle name. Her sister says it's weird to name the baby after James in any scenario."

His fellow Reddit users completely understand why this discussion has unsettled him so much, and feel it was wrong of his wife to suggest the name Oliver without offering full context.

One person wrote: "Yes, she’s a widow and I understand that she probably loved her first husband dearly and that they were going to start a family.

"However, if you are going to move on and build a life with someone new, then you need to commit to that. If you don’t it’s insanely cruel in many ways to your new partner.

"I’m not saying she needs to erase the memory of her first husband but naming your kid after him is a little too much."

Another said: "I've never lost a spouse but I did lose my 16-year-old son so I do empathize with the mum-to-be wanting to honor her late husband. I'm sure she still loves and misses him.

"She shouldn't just move on and let him go but she does need to take her current husband's feelings into account. I'm sure it's difficult and she probably has a bit of a blind spot where her late husband is concerned."

Have you chosen a name that your relatives are unsure about? We pay for stories. Email us at julia.banim@reachplc.com

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