My white friends trivialise racism by labelling everything racist. How do I tell them to stop?

Sisonke Msimang: I think a more direct way of describing this behaviour … is ‘moral grandstanding’ Composite: ediebloom/Guardian Design

Dear Ms Understanding,

My white friends have become increasingly comfortable with labelling people as racist in an offhand manner, even when the person isn’t racist. It makes me uncomfortable as it feels as if they are trivialising racism and ignoring actual racist issues. I’d like to know how to tell them to stop without them instantly getting defensive and saying they’re an ally.