A photo of a dad-of-two taken weeks before he took his life shows the signs aren't always clear, his family has said.
Manchester United fan Robert Davies, 33, had been partying in Blackpool and joking with family in the days and weeks leading up to his death.
Now his mum and sisters want others to see the pictures of an outwardly happy young man to raise awareness.
Speaking to WalesOnline bereft mother Rachel said her home in Crickhowell "feels empty" since Robert's death.
His family says support was lacking throughout his struggles and that while he received treatment for alcohol addiction they were never given a direct line for a support worker.
Rachel says she's also struggled to find bereavement support and has had to resort to Facebook community groups.
Robert is described as “fun-loving and as mischievous as anything”.
The only thing the popular window cleaner adored more than football and his team Manchester United were his family and friends.
But on November 30 he took his life days after enjoying a holiday in Blackpool and sharing photos of his trip with his girlfriend on social media.
At home with her seven cats, three dogs, and 14-year-old daughter, Rachel points to the corner of the room beside her which is now Robert’s corner.
His ashes sit in the middle of ornamental robins, candles, and a small glass house which reads: “Special son, your light will shine forever inside our broken hearts.” Her lounge is crammed with pictures of him - some with his two children aged 10 and four.
“Robbie is here with me forever,” Rachel, 52, said. “I do believe that. They always say when robins appear, loved ones are near. Life is empty here now, that’s how I’d describe it. The only joy I get is when my grandchildren come to stay.
"How do you carry on doing normal daily things when you feel your life has come to a halt? It’s just day by day, or even minute by minute sometimes.”
“It’s the waking up in the morning when you forget for a second that he’s not here, that’s the worst part,” she said.
Flicking through countless photos of her son, she continued: “I would genuinely say he was one of the happiest and most outgoing people for much of his life. A super-friendly person who would walk into a group of people he wouldn’t know and would come out with many friends.”
Rachel smiles and laughs as she recalls funny memories which she now cherishes more than ever.
“At his nan’s birthday party only days before he died he brought out a cake for her with candles that didn’t blow out. He found it hilarious watching her trying everything to get these candles to stop. That sums up the type of person he was.”
It also shows how anyone can find themselves at their lowest ebb within days and when their family might least expect it, she says.
Even in the days prior to his death Robert’s relatives said he had appeared to be as happy as he’d been in a long time, and had even decided to take his girlfriend on holiday.
A picture taken of Robert in Blackpool shows him the week before he took his life, and it’s a picture Rachel wants others to see.
Looking at the photo, she explained: “By that point I think he definitely was suffering mentally and he tried to mask it with drink. He’d often drink a bottle of vodka a day which I’d put water in without him knowing. But he did seem to have become better prior to his death.
“He did seem to have picked himself up and then he’d have a bad week where he’d be really down. His friends would often say how they felt he was getting there, but maybe he was putting on a show to make people think he was okay.
“I want others to be aware that there are not always clear signs. The story about his nan not being able to blow the candles out was days before he died. The photos in Blackpool were taken a week before.”
By the time of his death Robert had worked hard to build his window cleaning business in Brecon and enjoyed speaking with locals - particularly those older than himself.
"The older folk really loved him, he’d spend half the time having tea and coffee with them,” Rachel went on. “He came home telling us all about them and the stories he’d heard. He’d often sit with them during the lockdowns to keep them company.
“It does show it can happen to anyone and that’s the saddest part. People don’t think this will ever happen to them or to anyone they know. A year before he died he’d have been the person in my life I’d have worried about the least.”
When his mental health dipped in the spring of 2021 Robert moved back in with Rachel, and she says they spent his final months watching copious amounts of sport on the television, sometimes until the early hours of the morning, to occupy his mind. “He became my little boy again,” she recalled.
The night before he died Robert had fallen asleep drunk on the sofa. Rachel rang the doctors the following morning after he had told her he felt he wanted to take his life.
She says she still feels guilty that she didn’t call the emergency services, but she feels let down that she wasn’t prepared for that moment.
She claims Robert wasn’t offered any support other than for his alcohol dependency, even though he’d sometimes told specialists that he wanted to take his life in the months before he died.
“I rang the doctors and they said they’d call me back, but by the time they rang me back an hour and a half later Robert was dead,” Rachel said. “Not only did Robert not get enough support but we as a family didn’t get the support we needed.
“If we’d had appropriate guidance we’d have known what to do when Robert told us he wanted to take his life. We were in contact with mental health specialists but we were never given a direct number to contact or guidance on what to do in that scenario.
“There was no face to face support during Covid either. Everything was done over the phone - even the counselling for Robert for his problems with alcohol which he started in the March [of 2021]. He needed face to face help.”
On the morning of his death Robert told his mum he was planning on driving away from the house when she went to drop off her grandson at school, to which Rachel told him he couldn’t because he had been drinking.
“When I came back from dropping Jaxson off I was relieved to see Robert’s car still outside,” she remembered. “I knew he’d gone to his room when I got in the house but that was normal when he was particularly down.
“Sometimes he would go to bed and sleep the day away. I thought he was safe up there and that there was nothing up there that he could hurt himself with.
“I was heading up the stairs to tell him I’d rang the doctors when the police knocked on the door and said they were doing a welfare check. Then I was told he’d rang his ex-partner and friend to tell them he wanted to kill himself.
“They finally got his door open and told me to ring an ambulance. I felt completely numb, but I honestly thought he’d be okay. The paramedics and police worked on him for 40 minutes before telling me he’d gone. It didn’t feel real and still doesn’t feel real.
“How can you believe that someone who had been so full of life could be gone like that? I still think he’s going to walk through the door. How do you accept that your little boy is gone?”
Since Robert died Rachel says specialist support has also been few and far between and she's had to seek help on Facebook. She says there are lengthy waiting lists just for an initial phone call and charities are becoming overstretched.
Robert’s sister Parisse said: “There’s a serious lack of help for anyone these days. We need to encourage everyone, especially men, that there is no shame in speaking about your feelings. Too many young men are struggling in silence, we need to support one another."
