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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Lifestyle
Eleanor Gordon-Smith

My son is moving out. I’m happy for him but I’m bereft. How can I stop feeling so terrible?

Fairies in a Birds Nest, an artwork by John Anster Christian Fitzgerald
‘One of the biggest chapters of your life is closing. Knowing that he deserves to feel free and happy about this does not mean you have to,’ writes Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Painting: Fairies in a Birds Nest by John Anster Christian Fitzgerald. Illustration: Wikimedia Commons

My son is moving out. I’m happy for him but I’m bereft. I know “empty nest” is a cliche but it’s out of control and it’s ruining my relationship with him. It feels like grief. I’m tearful all the time. I can’t bear to look at old photos of us. I feel awkward around him, like I’m looking for the old connection when he was little that he’s rightly moved on from.

I wasn’t a happy person before him and without him I’m afraid I’ll go back to how I was. My partner is supportive but I hide how much I’m obsessing about this because there’s only so many times she can sit through my sobbing. He’s still present and wonderful; he needs to go and live his life and I know he’ll come back. How can I stop feeling so terrible about a thing that I know is good and right and natural?

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