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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Lifestyle
Alex Michael

My petty gripe: don’t ask what my plans are, my New Year’s Eve is none of your business

Illustration showing 2025 glasses broken on the ground with confetti
The only answer to the dreaded question is always ‘as glib and insincere as a politician in question time’, Alex Michael writes. Illustration: Victoria Hart/Guardian Design

Some people feel compelled to ride bikes, others mandated to hit the gym. Me? A compulsion to tell myself that I suck to be around.

I’m not going to stand here and say that self-hatred is unique to me. It’s just that it isn’t until the last week of the year that I don’t feel entirely mawkish for admitting it. When I feel that others share my self-loathing, if only briefly. When a simple question leaves even the most lovable Lotharios spinning dark webs of utter BS.

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