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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
World
Paige Freshwater

'My maiden name is embarrassing - my ex is trying to force me to take it back'

While we can't choose our names from birth, we always have an option to change them later in life. But one woman is fighting to keep her married name after separating from her husband following a breakdown in their relationship.

She explained how she couldn't wait to get married to be able to ditch her embarrassing surname, saying it made her the 'butt' of all jokes throughout her childhood. The woman said: "My maiden name is an unflattering adjective. What felt like 3/4 of the people I met when that was my last name made the exact same joke about it, saying 'Is that your name or your attitude?'. They expected me to laugh like they'd just made the best joke ever.

He doesn't want her to continue using his surname (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

"So, of course, I jumped at the chance to change my last name when I got married the first time. My ex-husband thought he could force me to take back my maiden name when we got divorced."

Refusing to go back to her old name, she has been standing her ground and speaking to other divorcées who have kept their ex-partner's surname.

"I've heard that same story from quite a few other divorcées leading me to believe some soon-to-be-exes tell other soon-to-be-exes that they can totally [keep it]," she added on Reddit.

In both America and the UK, there is no legal requirement for a person to revert their surname to their maiden name following a divorce.

A statement from Williams Law Group reads: "Women often take their husband’s last name after getting married. But what happens in the event of a divorce?

"It is ultimately up to the woman to decide whether they want to keep their ex-husband’s name or change it back to their maiden name after a divorce.

"Legally changing your name is a hassle. After the change has been approved, it is your responsibility to obtain documents, credit cards, and bank accounts in your new name.

"This is time-consuming, so many women decide to keep their married name simply so they can avoid this lengthy process altogether."

Sharing the woman's pain, one Reddit user commented: "My name is an unflattering verb and sounds terrible, and I've only ever heard the same joke.

"I changed my name on social media years ago so most people I know don't actually know my real last name. - but then they see my professional email and boom, same joke.

"My family guilted me out of officially changing it because there's a lot of history and pride connected to it, so I'm praying that whoever I marry has a nice last name."

Another user added: "My last name is a word that is sometimes used as a derogatory term for lesbians. It was a little rough in middle school, but no problems since then.

"I like it fine, I kept it when I got married, but I didn't give it to my son."

A third user said: "I was so happy to escape my maiden name with what I thought was a perfectly normal single-syllable Scottish name with a famous ancestor - but then I realised that no one can say it.

"So I will hope you fall in love with someone with a nice surname, like Bell or Smith."

Do you have a story to share? Email paige.freshwater@reachplc.com.

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