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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Philippa Perry

My lover won’t leave his family. Should I wait or move on?

A young man is removing his wedding ring a concept of relationship difficultiesA close-up view of a young man's hands removing his wedding ring a concept of relationship difficulties
‘He may be your lover, but don’t make him your whole life. Build up and commit to other priorities.’ Photograph: Karl Tapales/Getty Images

The question I am in a situation that is making me frustrated and unhappy. I met a man on a dating app four years ago. He has a partner and young kids. From the first date, there was a strong connection and we quickly fell in love. This is still so today. He works close to my home town, but lives with his family 200 miles away. He keeps saying someday he will separate from his partner, but I don’t see this happening. He tells me they agree they don’t have romantic feelings for each other now, but they are bringing up their two kids together.

We see each other twice a week and although everything is perfect when we’re together, we don’t spend non-working days together, or meet each other’s friends and family.

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