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We’ve recently moved to Oxfordshire, but we keep what the estate agent described as a pomme-de-terre in Chiswick.
What is your earliest memory of London?
Falling off a pedalo in Dulwich Park.
What was your first job?
I worked as a medical secretary in Newham Hospital in my first year of medical school. My main memory of this — other than being a terrible medical secretary — was that back then you texted by pressing the relevant number on the keypad and the predictive text always corrected Newham to Mexico.
Most memorable meal?
We had our wedding reception at The Ivy in Covent Garden, which was really lovely, although now there are so many Ivys it’s like saying we got married in Café Rouge.
Favourite pub?
The City Barge in Chiswick, for the river side views and a guaranteed sighting of either Ant, Dec or Jeremy Vine.
Favourite shops?
I can buy absolutely everything I need for life in Robert Dyas, Waterstones and Liberty.
How do you like to get around?
The Diamond Jubilee State Coach.
What is the first thing you do when you land back in London?
A vodka Martini at Soho Hotel. I mean, it slightly depends what time of day I land.
Where do you go to let your hair down?
I’ve always been a huge lover of the West End, although with tickets now topping £200 it’s becoming more of a rare treat.
If you could buy any London building and live there, which would it be?
Argyll House on King’s Road.
Where would you like to be buried?
I’d like my ashes to be scattered unexpect edly on Nigel Farage.
What makes someone a Londoner?
Isn’t it something about being born within the sound of Bo Derek?
What motto do you live by?
Enjoy every sandwich.
What is your favourite work of art?
It’s quite a basic choice, but I love Seurat’s Bathers at Asnières in the National Gallery.
What’s your biggest extravagance?
Car insurance.
What is the last thing you googled?
‘LGBT laws Bali’ — a slightly depressing aspect of being gay is having to check if going on holiday somewhere might result in your arrest/execution.
Favourite film about London?
Mary Poppins, of course.
What are you up to for work right now?
I’m getting ready for a week performing my new show, Undoctored, at the Lyric Theatre on Shaftesbury Avenue. And there are always £20 tickets for every performance, in a small attempt to fight the criminal West End ticket prices.
Who is the most iconic Londoner?
Lord Upminster himself, Ian Dury.
And who is your hero?
The hundreds of thousands of NHS staff who live and work in London. Maybe we should think about paying them properly?
What’s your London secret?
The app that tells you which Tube carriage you need to get on to be close to the exit.
