This My Lady Jane episode 3 recap contains spoilers for the Prime Video series. Jane gets a glimpse of the pain in Guildford's past and engages in some knifey foreplay, while Mary and her slippery stooge Lord Seymour frame Lord Dudley for the murder of King Edward. Dudley knows the King's will holds the key to his release, but where is it?
Jane is spending her honeymoon searching for a cure to Ethianism, which is highly ironic when you think about it. Before she got married she dreamed of being left alone to read and was terrified of being ravished by her new husband, but things have worked out quite differently.
Unfortunately, all the cures she’s tried haven’t worked, although she’s sensibly trying to get Guildford to aim for "managing" his condition, rather than "curing" it. Guildford is determined to rid of the condition forever, although we’re not sure why, as the ability to become a horse would be super useful in a world where the combustion engine is several centuries away.
However, after a candid conversation with a servant, Jane learns about the terrible effect the death of Guildford’s “brilliant, but more usefully, beautiful...” mother had upon him. Could this trauma be the root of his uncontrollable Ethianism?
'That's not a dagger...'
Meanwhile, Lord Dudley languishes in a prison cell after being framed for poisoning the King and his prospects aren’t improved by news that Edward — who realized the truth about his real poisoners — is now dead. “Get my son Stan!” shouts Dudley, which shows how desperate he is tbqh.
Upstairs, Mary and Lord Seymour are enjoying some spanking while arguing about when they should break the news of the King’s death to everyone. Seymour wants to delay because he hasn’t got the King's will, which is very odd. If Lord Dudley doesn’t have it and his arch-enemy doesn’t have it either, then who does? With fear and doubt swirling around him, Seymour goes with what he knows and orders the death of Jane Grey and Guildford.
The newly-weds are unaware the sword of Seymour hovers over their heads and Jane is more concerned by the ransom note she’s received for her old friend Susannah, who’s being held by the pack. It seems there’s no honor among Ethians.
Jane and a reluctant Dudley set off to rescue her and even find time to spoof Crocodile Dundee’s “that’s not a knife” routine along the way. But they’re not the only ones quoting yet-to-be-filmed movies, because when Seymour’s assassins reach their house, they tell the maid they “have a particular set of skills”. Liam Neeson eat your heart out.
In the forest, Jane and Guildford’s flirting escalates to the point of dueling and they get even closer to kissing without kissing than we ever thought possible. When Jane wins, she asks her hubby a question about when he first changed into a horse, but he won’t tell her. It seems obvious the answer to Guildford’s affliction isn’t in Jane’s books, but his past.
When they eventually find The Pack’s camp, Jane and Susannah share a heart-to-heart and after defeating Seymour’s assassins in a swordfight, they finally kiss before running home to ALMOST get down to it... but not quite.
'Long live Queen Jane!'
Jane had married Guildford in a bid to save her sister Katherine from being wedded to the grotesque Duke of Leicester — played with relish by Jim Broadbent — yet after her mum discovered the truth about the Dudley’s money problems, she realized beggars can’t be choosers. And to think that Jane was moaning about marrying the extremely dashing Guildford Dudley!
Luckily for Katherine, her little sister is a bit of a tearaway and takes it open herself to murder a hungover Leicester the following morning, to their mother’s restrained delight. Suffocated by a girl with a nice pear, we bet it’s how he would have wanted to go.
Later that night Guildford admits he first changed into a horse on the night his mother was murdered. You don’t need to be a therapist to join the dots on this one, which is a good job because — as the narrator points out — there aren’t any therapists in Tudor England.
News of the King’s death is finally out and it turns out that Mary's younger sister Bess has the will, which makes its way to the court thanks to Petunia. No prizes for guessing who Edward names as his heir in the real will and when word reaches Jane she’s shocked to be named the new Queen of England.
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