My husband and I have been married for 31 years. We have an active sex life (four to five times a week) but I am feeling serious resentment towards him. Quite honestly, I am disgusted by him at times. He seems unable to orgasm through vaginal sex, and can also only reach a climax with porn turned on, which I don’t like. No matter how much we discuss this or I explain my hurt, he continues to do it anyway. I feel useless and no longer attractive. I’m not an eyesore of a person. I’m damn hot for 51! What is wrong with him/me?
I imagine that the impasse you are experiencing with your husband is not limited to sexual situations. Communication has become difficult and you are engaged in a power struggle. It is understandable that you feel angry and have a great deal of resentment towards him – which in itself will lower your desire for him. Your self-esteem is also suffering and no one likes to be ignored, so couples counselling with a good therapist who is knowledgable about sex therapy is going to be your best chance to have a more palatable relationship. You may be tempted to give him an ultimatum to let him know you are serious about getting help as the only way to save your marriage … but make sure you are ready for either consequence.
