I had a problem last year with staying lubricated during intercourse. Although the problem initially went away on its own, it has returned. My husband can make me wet but, as we continue, I dry out. I am on antidepressants, so I wonder if that could be the cause. I haven’t changed anything about my lifestyle. I still feel very much turned on, but I just dry out quickly.
Certain medications can have sexual side-effects, so it may be worth seeing your GP to check this out. However, physiological and psychological issues can also cause problems with arousal and lubrication. In addition, many women require direct clitoral stimulation – not just before but also during intercourse. If you notice your excitement waning, encourage your partner to pleasure you in a way that will get you back on track.
It is worth investigating what exactly might be causing your dryness, because certain remedies are specific to the causes. For example, lowered levels of certain hormones could be elevated by supplementation. Sometimes, intrusive thoughts can interrupt a person’s sexual interest, in which case working to maintain focus on pleasure can help. But whatever the reason, the problem you are experiencing can probably be quite simply assuaged by applying a lubricant. Since chronic vaginal soreness can lead to more serious problems, keep the product handy during lovemaking and use it as a preventive measure, before you start to feel any irritation.
Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.
If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions.
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