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Bristol Post
Bristol Post
Lydia Patrick & Emma Grimshaw

"My husband's affair was the best thing that ever happened to our marriage - I now help others heal after betrayal"

A mum claims her husband's affair was "the best thing that ever happened to her marriage" - she now helps other couples heal after betrayal.

Charity and Matt Craig met at church camp aged 13 and 18 and married when they were just 21 and 25 in January 2004. She discovered her partner, Matt, 40, was having an affair with someone he met through work, in 2012.

The 45-year-old had a strong gut feeling and discovered text messages on his phone - and confronted him, forcing him to come clean. Matt, then a music pastor, decided to stick with his wife and kids - despite having strong feelings for the other woman.

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According to the couple, they both worked on themselves and had therapy to become the best versions of themselves. (SWNS)

He left his job and changed his number. Initially, mum-of-four Charity didn't think she would be able to forgive her spouse and the pair separated, but came back together after one year apart.

According to the couple, they both worked on themselves and had therapy to become the best versions of themselves. Now Charity helps coach other married couples who are trying to overcome infidelity.

The founder of a jewellery company, from Orlando, Florida, said: "This affair turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to our marriage. It shattered everything but we were in a toxic unhealthy place.

"It was devastating and it shatters your entire world, I got kicked into black swirling waters and I didn't know which way was up. You can't drop a grenade in your home and come away undamaged, but it became a very personal journey and I went and did therapy and Matt did the work. Now we are happier than ever."

Before she discovered the affair, Charity said they were "happily married and good friends". But she found lots of text messages from another woman while checking his phone.

She added: "It was friendly enough. He started acting suspicious and I started stalking his every move. It all exploded from there."

Matt, now the director of a marketing company, finally came clean in the summer of 2012, after Charity confronted him.

Matt said: "I was working over 60 hours a week in a high stress position. I spent more time at work than with my family. I was struggling between my family and my dreams of pursuing a musical career.

"I didn't want to lose my family and I didn't want to hurt the other woman."

The married couple broke up for a year and planned to divorce, while Matt moved out to live with his friend. But the pair slowly came back together after they both worked on themselves.

She said: "It's not as cut and dry as it seemed - we had to weed through the mess. He actually did the work and when he wanted to. We moved forward together. Everyone has to do what's right for them."

Charity did "inner-work" and discovered she was battling with co-dependency and insecurity. She said: "I didn't know how unhappy I was and I did therapy.

"Even though I didn't seem to have anger issues, I used the silent treatment as a form of control and manipulation. I would get triggered and explode and rage."

The two finally came back together romantically in February 2013. Matt added: "We had a year of healing before we felt things could go back to normal. I went to therapy and read self help books.

"I did everything possible to regain her trust. I would put my phone down on the table, straight up. It's been amazing. It's helped our family. I have a full understanding of her emotions and can be open with her.

"You have to be patient and you can't get angry or impatient when she wants to talk about it again or breaks down emotionally. I asked her to get back together with me on Valentine's Day in 2013."

Charity added: "I have spent countless hours becoming a better version of myself. We were two empty vessels trying to suck the life out of each other.

"We are each responsible for our own happiness."

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