My husband and I have very different schedules during the day, so sharing a bed at night is important to me in order to feel connected, even if we’re both (hopefully) sleeping.
But we haven't always been able to sleep in harmony. And whether it was him snoring or me wriggling, we would quietly blame each other for our lack of sleep.
I know we’re not the only couple to ever struggle to sleep next to each other, but it started to seriously take a toll on the quality of our rest, energy levels and mood. To avoid the dreaded sleep divorce, we knew we needed to make a change.
That meant introducing some new products into our nighttime routine. Things that would help us feel comfortable all night long, block out noise and any ambient light. Here are the top three that transformed our nights.
3 products that saved our sleep
- 1. Sleep earplugs and sleep eye masks
- 2. The right mattress
- 3. Separate temperature regulating wool duvets
Before we settled upon the three things that actually helped, we tried a lot of different products — and only a fraction of them provided any real benefit.
From jaw strapping (don’t ask) to mouth tape, wedge pillows and everything in between. There are a lot of companies out there promising you the best night’s sleep, but many fall short, and some actually hinder your ability to rest.
After months of testing each item, these are the three things we now swear by to fall asleep fast and sleep through the night.
1. Good earplugs and eyemasks
After living in the city centre, I can pretty much sleep through anything. However, my husband’s snoring is another matter. Whether it's the annoyingly predictable rhythm or the sheer decibels, I wake up instantly and can never get back to sleep. And yes, I’ve tried earplugs before.
While Loop Quiet Earplugs were a great improvement on the cheap foam options, they didn’t block enough noise and they always fell out. So, I decided to try a competitor: Alpine Silence.
With an arrow design that keeps them in place and soft silicone tips, they blocked as much noise as my foam plugs, but didn’t cause pain or fall out.
I even gave them a run for their money at Glastonbury Festival and miraculously slept through the endless partying (after taking part myself). Every night before bed, I pop them in. Not only do they stop me from waking at night, but they also help me fall asleep within minutes.
Now, for my husband, the problem was my early mornings. I need light to get ready and feel awake, but this was cutting his sleep short, considering his alarm wasn’t due to sound until hours later.
A slightly padded, silk eye mask was a simple fix. He didn’t necessarily wear it all night long, but before I turned my lamp on, I slipped it on him (a small disturbance compared to a lamp ‘as bright as the sun’ in his words).
We found we didn’t need any bells and whistles for the eye mask. No in-built headphones, no wrap-around ear covers. A comfortable, cool sleep mask did the trick.
2. The right mattress
I had never paid much attention to our bed before — the most we had forked out on a mattress was a few hundred dollars on a spring bed from Ikea. It was bouncy, which meant every time we moved, we felt it.
It was also soft and lost its shape within a couple of months, meaning we often rolled into one another, waking up hot and frustrated.
So, we did a little research into the best mattress for couples. As we had different sleeping positions, we needed to find the right firmness that worked for us both.
After I reviewed it, we switched to the DreamCloud Classic, a hybrid mattress made from coils and memory foam with a medium-firm feel. And, we realised how much we’d underestimated the importance of sleeping on the best mattress for us.
For starters, the bed felt huge. Because the support extended right up to the edges, we could stretch out and use the full surface of the mattress.
And for me, as a side sleeper, the softer layers of foam contoured around my pressure points (shoulders, hips and knees), meaning I pretty much stayed in one position all night.
Meanwhile my husband, a back sleeper, loved how he slept on top of the bed rather than sinking into it.
3. Separate wool duvets
I’d heard about the Scandinavian Sleep Method and thought it sounded like a great option for us — especially to put an end to the ongoing duvet battle.
Without the tug of war that usually plays out, with me shivering and him sweating, we slept like babies
It involves placing two blankets on the bed, so you can each have full separation of your sleep environment. It also means you can choose the type of duvet that suits you best.
My husband opted for a thin wool duvet, which is an excellent natural material for regulating temperature. He stopped overheating almost immediately. I, on the other hand, went for a super cozy, down duvet that I could wrap up in all night.
Without the tug of war that usually plays out, with me shivering and him sweating, we slept like babies.
Sleep tips for couples
Sleep divorce if you need to
Now, I know I said that I was trying to avoid the sleep divorce, but there’s really no shame in it. In fact, if both of you are actually enjoying quality sleep night after night, then you’re more likely to have a healthy relationship, anyway.
Mood improves, energy is boosted, and the time you do spend together will be quality.
Separate beds, and even separate rooms, can be the perfect option for some. If you like the idea but still want to be close, opting for Split King or Split Queen mattresses can work. These are two separate Twin or Twin XL mattresses that sit within the same bed frame.
Invest in your sleep setup
I’m not one for spending a lot of money, but when it comes to sleep, the investment is well worth it. And it doesn’t have to cost a fortune.
The wrong pillow can be why you’re waking up at night… even if you are blaming your partner
In fact, the DreamCloud mattress we slept on, which was also awarded best affordable hybrid mattress of the year, comes in at only $649 for a queen — a pretty affordable price for a luxury bed.
Make sure you’re both sleeping on the best pillow for your sleeping position. This does a lot more than you think, helping to keep your spine aligned throughout the night and preventing neck strain. The wrong pillow can be why you’re waking up at night… even if you are blaming your partner.
Maintain good sleep hygiene
It’s easy for good habits to go out of the window when you’re tired, but that’s when they matter the most. Sleep hygiene refers to your habits and lifestyle that impact the quality of your rest.
Good sleep hygiene includes going to bed and waking up at the same time every day, avoiding sugary snacks and caffeine in the evening and only using your bedroom for sleep.
Bad sleep hygiene includes scrolling for hours in bed before you sleep, working in your bedroom and going to sleep at different times every day.
