There are times when I feel sorry for players these days as the summer break lasts about five minutes and they are back to work. But then I remember what pre-season was like when I started out and any sympathy goes right out of the window.
Current players hit the ground running when they report back – they don’t need to chase a minibus to get up to speed. The Hearts squad will check in today ahead of the new season in Scotland and in Europe. And it is changed days from my time. Pre-season used to cause a sense of dread about three weeks before you were due back.
When I was at Hearts we’d have wee Billy Brown sending us up and down the Italian mountains. He'd be standing there with the sun block on his face, looking like an Aussie cricketer, while the sweat was lashing off us.
But the worst one I can remember was when I was a kid at Chelsea. Jim Duffy was taking us for pre-season and the minivan arrived at Richmond Park, which is massive. He just said, “out you get”. I was expecting a gentle jog as a warm-up, but instead he made us chase the bus! Every time we got close he’d put the foot down, it was a nightmare.
Back in the day players would come back out of shape and it would be the bin bags on and running until you threw up. There were always some guys who needed it more than most. When I was at Hearts, I always knew the likes of Lee Wallace would be at the front and I used to get serious about three weeks out because I wasn’t going to be left behind.
But I remember guys like Maruis Zaliukas used to saunter in and he’d be plodding away at the back. I was terrified of Jim Jefferies and knew if I was out of condition he’d give me a right rollocking. I also knew there would be new signings coming in and I didn’t want to get left behind because of a lack of fitness.
Big Zal didn’t give a stuff! Then there was Christian Nade. I was joking with him recently that he came back one year looking like a blimp!
We used to go a 16-minute run as a warm-up and it took him 40 minutes! Suso Santana was another one. He returned from the summer in Tenerife and let’s just say it was obvious he’d enjoyed himself.
It was Paulo Sergio in charge by then and wee Suso was getting pelters. He kept bad-mouthing the boss in Spanish every time he ran past.
I don’t know what he was saying but it was definitely a few swear words. He thought he was safe but the gaffer went ballistic. It turned out he spoke Spanish and understood every word!
By that stage I was getting older and knew I couldn’t let it slide over the summer. It was a different story when I came back up to Scotland with St Johnstone. Owen Coyle was in charge and he always led the running. He was a total whippet but he spilt us into groups and had Mixu Paatelainen taking the other half of the squad.
I was delighted to be in Mixu’s group. He was a tank, but didn’t look like a runner. So much for that idea. Mixu was off like a bat out of hell. We were running up the hills and he was like a machine. The boys were blowing out of their backsides.
It was all about getting back to fitness, but now there’s not much chance for players to get out of shape. The Hearts boys will check in today and it’ll feel like they’ve never been away.
I actually don’t agree with it. Hearts faced Hibs just four weeks ago and Hibs are already back in. The lads who have been on international duty will have hardly managed any break at all.
It’s not enough. Players used to get more than six weeks off and it was much-needed. We’re talking about athletes here, they are not machines.
Clearly the powers-that-be at the top of world football don’t care. They want the games coming thick and fast and with European competitions starting so early, it’s impossible to recharge the batteries.
No wonder a lot of these guys get to the winter and are really struggling – they’ve never had the chance to properly recharge the batteries. When you got to about six weeks away, you were ready to come back. You were champing at the bit. Players now must drag themselves back in.
At last Hearts have European to look forward to and that will be a big motivation. But when it comes so early in the season, it doesn’t half make it tough. I’ll not feel too sorry for the Hearts boys today – as they’re on the Euro bandwagon rather than chasing the team bus.
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