Fact: I am devastatingly pale. My Western European and Scandinavian ancestors were not built for warm, sunny climates, thus leaving me with a year-round ghostly pallor I resent to this day. I fully understand that all-natural skin tones, including the extremely fair, are gorgeous, but I’m a child of the ‘90s and early 2000s. I’ve been programmed to crave a golden glow since the moment I turned on TRL after school. Britney, Lindsay, Paris, Kim—they all looked so cool with their overly tanned skin (even though most of them definitely do not have that type of complexion naturally). So for most of my teenage years, I lived and died by the tanning salon, desperate to show off my caramel mocha complexion, and the tiny Playboy Bunny “sun tattoo” that peeked out of my low-rise Von Dutch jeans. Millennial ladies, you know what I’m talking about.
All that to say, I’ve wised up in the last 20 years. I know how dangerous sun exposure can be, from both a vanity standpoint (wrinkles, dark spots, skin laxity are all exacerbated by UV rays) as well as your health (skin cancer anyone?). I wish I could say all those scary facts and statistics have weaned me off my bronzed skin cravings, but I’m not that rational. I just feel better when I have a slightly sun-kissed complexion and my legs don’t resemble a pasty white poached chicken breast. Self-tanner to the rescue!
I respect the girlies who have incorporated spray tans and bronzing products into their weekly beauty routine for a year-round glow (Marie Claire Beauty Editor Siena Gagliano, looking at you) but I’m still a bit lazy with my body care routine for that level of commitment. But now that the temperatures have risen above freezing and I can show a little skin with my favorite skirts and short-sleeve tops, I’m revisiting my tested and vetted self-tanner routine. Sure, it’s a bit of a time suck but when you nail the application and watch your complexion deepen to a healthy golden glow over the next eight hours… *chef’s kiss.*
Read on for my faux tanning routine to help trick people into thinking you just got back from vacation.
