Dear Coleen
My fiancé has really let himself go over the past year and I don’t know what to do about it. He’s put on a lot of weight – he had to give up five-a-side football because of an injury and he’s also working from home, which means he’s not moving much during the day.
He also eats a lot of junk and drinks with his mates at the weekends.
I would be hurt and feel very self-conscious if he criticised my appearance, so I just don’t know how to broach the subject with him.
We’re getting married next spring and if he carries on the way he’s going, the wedding shots aren’t going to look great!
I know that sounds cruel, but I want him to take some pride and look after himself better. I want the guy I fell in love with back!
One of the issues is, he does most of the cooking at home, so he’s kind of in charge of the food orders. I’m a hopeless cook, so it makes sense that he does it.
Don’t get me wrong, he makes nice meals, but they always have rich sauces or are very heavy on the carbs.
The other thing is, his dad died of a heart attack in his late 50s and I don’t want the same thing happening to him. It’s all very sensitive stuff. Any tips would be appreciated.
Coleen says
I think health is what you play on – tell him you’ve noticed he’s stopped caring so much about his health and fitness, and you’re concerned because of his family history.
Also, the wedding coming up could provide him with a positive goal – why not suggest getting healthy and fit together, so you both feel fabulous on your wedding day?
He might be a bit defensive at first, but I’m sure he’ll think about it and appreciate why you’re saying it, particularly if you don’t focus on his appearance and you reassure him that it’s because you love him and want him to be around for a long time.
If he loves cooking there are some fantastic healthy recipe reels on Instagram – you really don’t have to live on salad and can still enjoy eating.
My daughter Ciara has turned into an amazing little cook and she gets most of her recipes, tips and inspiration from Instagram and YouTube, and makes us delicious vegan meals.
Emphasise to your fiancé that you want to look forward to a wonderful, healthy life, but feel like you’re going down wrong road. It sounds like he’s just in a bit of a rut.
