When you get invited to a wedding, a common part of the tradition is to bring a gift for the new couple, often in the form of something they can utilise in their new life as a family. But should you be expected to offer a gift to a couple if you didn't actually get invited to their wedding?
According to one woman's family, you should, as she claims she was told to buy her cousin a wedding gift even though she was left off the guest list for the ceremony itself. The woman explained she was snubbed from the wedding because she isn't close friends with her cousin's fiancée, named Maddy, but insisted there's no bad blood between them.
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She said she was civil with her cousin's wife-to-be but other family members had tried to force them to be closer, and had even made her move her graduation party to accommodate Maddy.
In a Reddit post, she said: "My cousin Ted and I are close in age and we were always close as kids and even into adulthood still kept in touch.
"Then Ted met Maddy a few years ago and started bringing her to family stuff. I don't have a problem with Maddy but we just didn't click. We talk at family gatherings but she's not someone I want to hang out with or become friends with. My other cousin (Ted's sister) really clicked with Maddy, which is cool and good for them but I just ... don't. I'm nice and polite but I didn't go out of my way to become her best friend.
"My aunt (Ted's mum) really pushed her on me though. I don't know if it's because we're the same age-ish or what, but it was annoying. Anytime we were both at an event she'd find some way to push us together. I felt like a little kid being forced to play with someone.
"My own college graduation party had to be moved because Maddy had to work and it wouldn't be nice to exclude her. Even though it was inconvenient for me and meant most of my friends couldn't come and I had to rush around.
"Anyway like I said I've never been rude or anything to her just never really bonded with her."
The woman believes that the lack of relationship she has with Maddy is what caused her to be snubbed from the wedding, but has said it seems unfair that she has been left out after she moved her graduation party for her.
And despite not getting an invite to a family wedding, other members of her family - including her dad - have insisted she needs to "be the bigger person" and still buy them a gift.
She added: "So Ted and Maddy are getting married soon. I knew he was engaged but I didn't know when the wedding was. Another family member asked what I was getting them for a wedding gift and I said 'I don't know' they said 'better figure it out before the wedding date', which is very soon. I said 'oh I didn't know, I wasn't invited'. They said, 'well maybe it's not personal, you should still get a gift for them'.
"I asked my dad when he got his invitation and I guess it was a while ago. I said it's crappy that I wasn't invited when I had to reschedule my party for them. He said 'that was a graduation party, this is a wedding. Now that you know about it just be a bigger person and get a gift don't be petty'.
"I don't want to buy them a gift, and I probably won't invite Ted to any future events I have. I don't know why I was left out when everyone else in the family was invited. Maybe it's a budget thing and not personal but I don't want to spend the money on a gift when I wasn't cool enough to invite. To me, it's like having a birthday party and expecting someone I didn't invite to send me a birthday present."
Commenters on the post were quick to defend the woman for her choice, as many agreed that she shouldn't have to buy a gift when she hasn't been invited to the wedding.
One person said: "You weren't invited, they don't get a present. You could send a nice Congrats card to placate your family, but you absolutely do not need to spend money on them."
While another added: "I have never heard of an obligatory wedding gift for a wedding you were not invited to."
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