My ‘difficult’ patient made my heart sink. But what happens when doctors are part of the problem?

‘“Difficult” patients force us to depart from the familiar, intellectually satisfying script of matching symptom to diagnosis and treatment to cure,’ writes Dr Ranjana Srivastava. Photograph: Maskot/Getty Images

I once cared for a patient for 10 years, which is a pleasingly long time in oncology. Alas, the years didn’t bond us. I found her, in turns, combative and annoying, and I confess she probably found me the same. Before each encounter, I would take a deep breath and talk myself into greeting her with an ease I never felt.

She was my “heart-sink” patient. When she didn’t show up, I worried, but when she did, my stomach tightened. My “surface feeling” was impatience, but inside, I felt terrible that any patient should arouse such antipathy in a member of the “caring profession”. When she was finally discharged in good health, we were both relieved for different reasons.