A mother whose daughter took her own life at 14 as a result of bullying has spoken of her horror at losing her little girl.
Nicola Harteveld had no idea her daughter Megan was the victim of cyberbullies until she was found dead in her Pemborkeshire home in February 2017.
Afterward, her life “fell apart”. But she's since completed a degree in psychology and set up the Megan’s Starr Foundation coffee house in the heart of Milford Haven, her hometown.
The venture is there for people of all ages to look for support.
Nicola said: “After Megan's death, my world literally fell apart.
“Like many young people, she obviously didn’t feel like she could reach out and seek help, by speaking to a teacher, a police officer or even us her parents.
"She didn’t want to be a burden to anyone, least of all us or her friends. She gut-wrenchingly suffered in silence. She was just a little girl.
"Megan was a popular, vivacious, intelligent, beautiful and funny young girl, with her whole life in front of her. She was creative, talented and had a flair for art and poetry and writing. But she’s dead. Suicide and mental health has no face and does not discriminate. I wanted parents to know that.
"Megan hid her pain behind a huge smile and others can too. I felt it was imperative to try to break the taboo.
“To show that we need to speak up about our mental health in order to try to overcome these stigmas.
“Megan was a normal, happy and healthy girl to everyone else, but looks can be deceiving," she told WalesOnline.
Nicola’s regular customers range from four to 94, and everyone is given an equally warm welcome, but it's the kids slipping through the net who Nicola wants to help.
She's come across one teenage girl who was so anxious about talking to her face-to-face that the conversation was conducted by typing messages on her phone.
Another girl was distraught and grieving the loss of her best friend who turned out to be a social media star on YouTube.
She added: “There’s so much pressure to fit in.
“Social media and the likes of TikTok and Instagram have given these kids a false idea of what they should look like and how they should be acting. Influencers have a huge impact too. And it starts from such a young age.
"I grew up in the 80s and 90s. That’s a world away from where we are now. Parents don’t know how to handle it and approach it. We have to help them so they are able to help their child."
"Young people are being bullied online but we find that kids cannot block them [the bullies] because they need to see what’s being said about them.
“We can tell them that they’re encouraging the bullying by responding to it and rising to it. But kids just can’t do it."
The Samaritans is available 24/7 if you need to talk. You can contact them for free by calling 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org or head to the website to find your nearest branch. You matter.
